The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
ROGER. But why now? Why are you going out?
SUZANNE. Why? (_She comes down to him_) Why?? (_Looking him in the
eye_) Why? I have a headache! (_All rise_. SUZANNE _goes out_)
ROGER. (_Agitated_) Well, Aunt, it’s clear now, isn’t it?
DUCHESS. Less and less!
ROGER. I shall see him at once!
MME. DE CÉRAN. What are you going to do?
ROGER. Merely to do as my aunt has suggested: get to the bottom of the
affair. And I swear if that man—that if it’s true—if he has dared—!
MME. DE CÉRAN. If he has I shall show him to the door!
DUCHESS. If he has, I’ll see that he marries her! (_Following_ SUZANNE)
Only, if it isn’t true—well, we’ll see! Come! (_She tries to make_
MME. DE CÉRAN _go out. Loud applause is heard from the adjoining room;
indistinct murmurs of conversation and moving of chairs_)
MME. DE CÉRAN. Well!
DUCHESS. What’s that I hear? Another beautiful line? No, it’s the end
of the act. Quick, before they come in!!
MME. DE CÉRAN. But my guests?
DUCHESS. They’ll go to sleep again without your help! Come, come!
(_They go out. The door at the back opens. Through it are seen guests
in groups, with_ DES MILLETS _in the centre of one_.)
LADIES. Beautiful!—Great Art!—Very noble!
PAUL. (_On the threshold of the door_) That act is charming! Don’t you
think so, General?
GENERAL. (_Yawning cavernously_) Charming! Four to come!
(PAUL _skilfully maneuvers so that he reaches the door leading to the
garden and disappears through it_.)
_Curtain._
ACT III
SCENE: _A large conservatory lighted by gas. A tiny fountain playing
in the center of a basin; furniture, chairs, clumps of shrubbery;
large plants behind which one might easily slip and hide._
(_The_ DUCHESS _and_ MME. DE CÉRAN _enter, right. They look about
stealthily and consult together in low tones._)
DUCHESS. No one?
MME. DE CÉRAN. No one.
DUCHESS. Good! (_She walks toward the center of the stage, then
pauses_) Three headaches!
MME. DE CÉRAN. It’s atrocious that I should be forced to leave the poet
to——
DUCHESS. Oh, well, your poet is reading his poetry! A poet who can read
his poems is happy enough!
MME. DE CÉRAN. But Roger’s conduct has disturbed me! I have never seen
him act that way. What are you doing there, Aunt?
DUCHESS. I’m stopping the water so that I can hear better, my dear.
MME. DE CÉRAN. Why?
DUCHESS. So that I can hear better, my dear!
MME. DE CÉRAN. He is in the garden somewhere—following her, watching
for her. What will happen?—Oh, the poor little thing!—Why, Duchess! You
are putting out the gas!
DUCHESS. No, I’m only turning it down.
MME. DE CÉRAN. Why?
DUCHESS. So that I can see better, my dear!
MME. DE CÉRAN. So—?
DUCHESS. Heavens, the less we are seen the more we’ll see. Three
headaches,—and only one rendezvous! Aren’t you beginning to see, my
dear?
MME. DE CÉRAN. But what I can’t understand is that Monsieur Bellac——
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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