We repeat, to kiss a woman properly the size of her mouth must be carefully gauged before proceeding to the work. Large mouths put a man to the severest test; he will be driven to his wit’s end whether to begin at one corner and conclude on the other, or to make a heroic dash at the middle and endeavor to reach both corners. The heroic dash is considered by students in the art of kissing to be the best, for it takes the least amount of time, and allowance should always be made for the struggle to get away from the kisser which, albeit only a mock effort, might inadvertently prove successful. Delicately-formed mouths with rounded lips and of a velvety color are the easiest to kiss, and most submissive. You must never kiss a young girl if she doesn’t want you to. The main ingredient that makes kissing endurable is a willingness on the part of the female. If it deepens into anxiety so much the better. When a girl claws a man’s hair and scratches his face like a little fool drop her at once. As long as the girl doesn’t claw and yell and struggle like a panther, it is perfectly safe to continue prospecting. If you are just beginning to teach a shy girl, who has only been kissed heretofore by her brothers and father, touch your lips gently to her forehead. She will take this as an exhibition of profound respect. That position gained, working the way down to the lips is as natural and easy as the course of a log sliding down the wood flume of a lumber company. A popular comic song with the imperative title of “Sock her on the kisser” states that when a man falls in love with a little turtle-dove “he will linger all around her under-jaw” and goes on, in a chorus, to give directions, to wit: If you want to kiss her neatly, very sweetly and completely, If you want to kiss her so’s to kiss her nice, When you get a chance to kiss her, make a dodge or two and miss her, Then sock her on the kisser once or twice. That rhyme will do for the “gallery gods”; those in the orchestra seats will appreciate the following: The cutest trick in a kiss that’s quick Is to put it where it belongs; To see that it goes below the nose And knocks at the gate of songs. A kiss that is cold may do for the old, Or pass with a near relation; But one like that is a work—that’s flat— Of supererogation. If you’re going to kiss, be sure of this— That the girl has some heart in her; I wouldn’t give a darn for the full of a barn Of kisses without a partner. The point of this rhyme is to take your time, Kiss slowly and do it neatly; If you do the thing right and are halfway bright, You can win her sweet heart completely.