There are two principal ways by which we may arrive at the fatal _yes_, that terrible monosyllable which must decide our happiness or misfortune; that _yes_ which may make for us a paradise on earth, or a hell of twenty-four hours for every day in the 365. _Either love first and marriage after, or marriage first and love after._ Which of these two ways is the better, and the most certain to lead us to the paradise of two? Theoretically, the answer cannot be doubted; one ought to love first and marry after. In practice, however, it is not always so. Many marriages inspired by love end badly, while others, planned by reason more than the heart, turn out well. And why? If the theory is true, it ought to accord with the practice, and if it contradicts the practice the theory must be mistaken. The apparent contradiction can be explained at once if we reflect that love is every day spoken of as the desire for the possession of the woman, and this alone is certainly not sufficient to make two people happy. Give love and lust their real names and every difficulty immediately disappears, and we then see the happy dogma, _Love first and marriage after_, shine out in all its splendour. If by legal means alone a man can possess the woman he loves and if the passion be violent, the greatest libertine, and even the enemy of matrimony, bow their heads under the _Furcæ Caudinæ_ of female virtue and the civil code, and marry. It is a stony road and full of pitfalls, but one which, nevertheless, may sometimes lead to the happiness of the two. Gradually there becomes associated with the desire of the senses, that more valuable sense of the affinity of hearts, and when the desire is satisfied there remains still the enjoyment of the more delicate dainties of the understanding and affection. To transform lust into love is a difficult work, but worthy of woman’s holy virtue, and the woman can succeed in doing so, even when possession has cooled desire and age dimmed her beauty; but she must be a sublime being and possess lasting gifts of sentiment and thought; if her companion be also an elect soul, who knows how to value this lasting and solid virtue, and who understands ideality of spirit as well as grace of form, so much the better.