The ideal of physical harmony between two married people is, that each one should feel the same hunger, and feel it for the same thing. But as this occurs tolerably seldom, it is better that the man, who is always the leader of the orchestra of two, should give the _la_; that is, raise or lower the tone so that there shall be perfect harmony. The thing is not so difficult; for if the great masters succeed in making the hundred instruments of an orchestra keep time and tune, should it not be easier to tune two instruments only? Above all, remember that the music has to last many long years, and it is better to accustom your companion from the very beginning, so to proceed that she may not tire, but may reach the end unscathed. If you begin with quavers and semi-quavers, poor you! Your companion of the orchestra will accustom herself to that _tempo_, which will become a necessity for her—for you it may be a catastrophe. Even without supposing an excessive lust in the woman; even if you have been so fortunate as to have found one with more heart than feelings; she will believe she is no longer loved, and in the secret silence of the night-watches will shed tears, measuring your love by the early change in the broken music. Notwithstanding what I have written of genital hygiene; notwithstanding that others have followed me in the same road, throwing down the walls which supported the ignorance of the things of love; women are still too often most ignorant, and measure love by the notes of music.[3] Think then on the future, which comes quickly, and like a hungry dog devours the miserable present, and from the very first days begin with an _andante moderato_, and if your means permit, go even to the _allegretto_; but for charity’s sake do not proceed to quavers and semi-quavers. [3] Whilst writing this, a courageous book on this subject has appeared in Germany: “Der Kampf der Geschlechter, eine Studie aus dem Leben, und für das Leben.” (The Struggle of the Sexes. A Study from Life and for Life).—Leipzig, 1892. A volume of 173 pp. It is written by a woman already noted in the literary world in Germany, who has published several novels under the fictitious name of Franz von Wemmorsdorf. ⁂ I find I am treading on the field of the hygiene of matrimony, whilst I ought only to speak of _what precedes it_. Without making the experiment of the savages, you would like to know to a nicety the strength of the appetite for love which your future companion feels? Well, then, begin to study her family and, above all, her mother, who bequeaths her nervous system to her children, with all its accompaniments and connections, with sensibility, chastity, or debauchery. Nothing is more hereditary than the capacity for love, and I have under my eyes terrible examples of calamities, which occurred from a study of the _fiancée_ alone, without any thought of her father and mother.