Attracted by the fire and explosion people were coming out on the
street. It was dark and he was glad he couldn’t see their faces. He
tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. He went by a group
under a street light. A little boy stopped in front of him, gazing up.
“Mommy, what’s the matter with him?” shrieked the child, pointing to
Talbot’s face.
The woman looked too. “Hush,” she said, jerking her son back. “You know
it’s bad manners to point.”
“But what’s the _matter_ with him?” persisted the child.
Talbot walked on. His clothing was disheveled, but not burned. He felt
light-headed, unsteady on his feet. He was not surprised that the woman
had pulled the child away.
He had done his best. He had tried desperately to save Frescura from
his misplaced guilt feelings. Now he was going home to Randy. He had
thought his return would be more triumphant than this.
He was nearing the apartment when he caught sight of himself in a shop
mirror. He went past, then came back, and looked again. Finally he
looked away. Into his mind had washed a torrent of terror. His eyes
seemed empty and hueless.
His cheeks sagged. His face was _Between_.
His empathy had been shattered by shock and fear. He could close the
gulf between Soleri and himself because they had been very much alike
to begin with. But Frescura was different, incomprehensible. He could
never have succeeded in understanding Frescura.
He had caught the last shreds of Frescura’s consciousness, and it was
that terrifying awareness which had sent him sprawling just before the
concussion. The obscure forces of his mind tried always to put him in
another’s place. In times of extreme mental reaction the force became
much stronger. But it couldn’t span the emotional gulf between himself
and the scientist.
What it had done was to force out the lingering hold Soleri’s
personality still had on him. He was no longer Soleri. But by the same
token he was not yet himself.
He was reverting.
And his face was Between. It was a visible indication of what he was
becoming. He couldn’t ever hope to pass as Soleri again. And that meant
that Randy would be lost to him forever.
He turned and walked away from the apartment. His thoughts were dull
and blank. He walked on until his body rebelled.
He stared about him. His wandering hadn’t been haphazard.
Subconsciously his steps had taken him to his old apartment. He was
standing in front of the building where he had lived as Hal Talbot.
Wearily he climbed two flights of stairs and let himself in with a key
which he had never discarded.
He fell on the bed. It was Talbot who went to sleep.
VIII
In the morning he avoided shaving. He didn’t want to look in the
mirror. He ate, slept again, and listened to newscasts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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