The Astonishing History of Troy TownQuiller-Couch, Arthur
General
The Astonishing History of Troy Town
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction
"Eh? What?" said that gentleman, who apparently had fallen into a
fit of deep abstraction. "I beg your pardon. I did not quite
catch--"
"What is the meaning of all this, sir?" The Admiral was scarlet with
passion.
"Oh, it's quite right, I believe--quite right. Caleb will tell you."
As he gave this astonishing answer in a far-away tone, Mr. Fogo's
spectacles rested on his visitor for a moment with a smile of deepest
benevolence. Then, with a sigh, he resumed his washing.
The Admiral positively danced with rage.
"There, what did I tell 'ee?" exclaimed Caleb triumphantly.
"That's your answer, and now you can go 'long home. Off with 'ee!"
The Admiral's reply would probably have contained some strong words.
It was arrested by a catastrophe.
During this altercation the tide had been rising, and carried the
boat gently up towards the little beach. As the Admiral opened his
mouth to retort, the boat's nose jarred upon a sunken heap of
pebbles. The shock was slight, but enough to upset his equilibrium.
Without any warning, the Admiral's heels shot upwards, and the great
man himself, with a wild clutch at vacancy, soused backwards--
cocked-hat and all--into the water.
The three Misses Buzza with one accord clasped their hands and
uttered dismal shrieks; the three mushroom hats shook with terror.
Mr. Fogo looked up from his washing.
"Papa! oh, save him--save our dear Papa!"
There was no danger. Presently a crimson face rose over the boat's
stern, blowing like a grampus. A pair of dripping epaulets followed;
and then the Admiral stood up, knee-deep in water, and swore and spat
alternately.
How different from that glittering hero, at sight of whom, not an
hour before, the Trojan dames at their lattices had stopped their
needlework to whisper! Down his nose and chin ran a pitiable flood;
his scanty locks, before so wiry and obstinate, lay close against his
ears; his gorgeous uniform, tarnished with slime, hung in folds, and
from each fold poured a separate cascade; the whole man had become
suddenly shrunken.
Speechless with rage, the little man clambered over the stern and
shook his fist at the wondering spectacles of Mr. Fogo.
"You shall repent this, sir! You shall--Jane, push the boat off at
once!"
But even the dignity of a fine exit was denied the Admiral. The boat
was by this time firmly aground, and he was forced to stand, forming
large pools upon the stern-board, while the grinning Caleb pushed her
off. And still Mr. Fogo looked mildly on, with his hands in the
wash-tub.
"Do you hear me, sir? You shall repent this!" raved the Admiral.
"Now, don't 'ee go upsettin' yourself again, 'cos wance es enough.
An' 't'ain't no good to be vexed wi' Maaster, 'cos he don't mind 'ee.
'Tes like Smoothey's weddin'--all o' one side. Next time, I hopes
you'll listen when you'm spoken to."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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