Pink paper,--scented with sandal-wood, pah!--embossed, too, with cornucopias in the corners,--seal motto, _Qui hi?_ ("Who waits?")-- denoting that the bearer is to bring an answer. Now for the inside: "DEVOTED AND RESPECTFUL SIR:--" "Insured of your pitiful conduct, your obsequious suppliant, an eleëmosynary lady of decrepit widowhood, throws herself at your Excellency's mercy feet with two imbecile childrens of various denominations. For our Heavenly Father's sake, if not inconvenient,-- which we have been beneficently bereaved of other paternal description,--we humbly present our implorations to your munificent Excellency, if any small change, to bestow the same, winch it will be eternally acceptable to said eleëmosynary widow of late Colonel with distinguished medal in Honorable Service, deceased of cholera, which it was suddenly attacks, and as pretty near destitute. Therefore, hoping your munificent and respectable Excellency will not order, being scornful, your pitiful Excellency's durwan to disperse us; but five rupees, which nothing to Excellency's regards, and our tenacious gratitude never forget; but kissing Excellency's hands on indifferent occasions, and throwing at mercy feet with two imbecile, offsprings of different denominations, I shall ever pray, &c." "MRS. DIANA, THEODOSIA, COMFORT, GREEN." "P.S. If not five rupees, two rupees five annas, in name of Excellency's exalted mother, if quite convenient." There now! for an imposing structure in the florid style of half-caste begging-letters, Mrs. Diana Theodosia Comfort Green flatters herself that is hard to beat. "'_Qui hi_?'--Karlee, who is at the gate?" "_Mem Sahib_! one chee-chee woman wanch look see Master, ispeakee Master buksheesh give; _paunch butcha_ have got." "_Paunch butcha!--five_ children! why, Karlee, there are but two here. But remembering, I suppose, that my Excellency has but two 'mercy feet,' and with an eye to symmetry in the arrangement of the grand tableau of which she proposes to make me the central figure, she has made it two 'imbecile offsprings' for the looks of the thing. Do you know her, Karlee?" "_Man, Sahib_! too much quentence have got that chee-chee woman; that chee-chee woman all same dam iscamp; paunch butcha not have got,-- one butcha not have got. Master not give buksheesh; no good that woman, Karlee think." "Very well, old man; send her away; tell the durwan to disperse Mrs. Diana Theodosia Comfort Green; but let him not insult her decrepit widowhood, nor alarm her imbecile offsprings of various denominations. For the 'Eurasian' is a great institution, without which polkas at Coolee Bazaar were not, nor pic-nics _dansantes_ at Chandernagore."