I am here established, drinking the waters and breathing the mountain air, but not gaining any marvellous benefit from either of them. When I repine in Ben's hearing, he sighs deeply, and advises me "to heed the auld-warld proverb, and 'tak' things by their smooth handle, sin' there's nae use in grippin' at thorns." Kate, too, reproves me for hindering my recovery by fretting at its tardiness. She tries to comfort me, by saying that I ought to be thankful, that, instead of being obliged to waste my youth in "horrid business," I can lie here observing and enjoying the beautiful world. Thereupon I overwhelm her with quotations:--"The horse must be road-worn and world-worn, that he may thoroughly enjoy his drowsy repose in the sun, where he winks in sleepy satisfaction";--and Carlyle: "Teufelsdröckh's whole duty and necessity was, like other men's, to work in the right direction, and no work was to be had; whereby he became wretched enough";--and, "Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no other blessedness." Then I ask her, if it is not the utmost wretchedness to have found that work and felt its blessedness, and then be condemned _not_ to do it. To all this she replies by singing that old hymn,--I make no apology for writing it down entire,--perhaps you do not know it,-- "Heart, heart, lie still! Life is fleeting fast; Strife will soon be past." "I cannot lie still; Beat strong I will." "Heart, heart, lie still! Joy's but joy, and pain's but pain; Either, little loss or gain." "I cannot lie still; Beat strong I will." "Heart, heart, lie still! Heaven over all Rules this earthly ball." "I cannot lie still; Beat strong I will." "Heart, heart, lie still! Heaven's sweet grace alone Can keep in peace its own." "Let that me fill, And I am still." "Heaven's sweet grace" does not fill my heart; for I am exhausting myself in longings to walk again,--to be independent. I long to climb these mountains,--perverse being that I am,--principally to get out of the way of counsel, sympathy, and tender care. Since I can never so liberate myself, I am devoured by desire to do so. Kate divines this new feeling, and respects it; but as this is only another coal of fire heaped upon my head, of course it does not soothe me.