The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 06, No. 38, December, 1860: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and Politics — John Shaqi
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 06, No. 38, December, 1860: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and PoliticsVarious
History
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 06, No. 38, December, 1860: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and Politics
Various
American periodicals
After the ladies had left, the Chemist seated himself by me, that he
might, as he openly said, get out of me the secret of my sunshine. The
more I disowned the sunshine, the more he felt sure that I possessed
some secret clue to it. I need not say, that, in all my talk with these
gentlemen, I had constantly tried to show that I could claim no
influence in setting the sun's rays among the green carpeted leaves.
I was urged to stay many days in Boston, was treated kindly, and invited
here and there. I grew to feel almost at home at Mr. Stuart's. He was
pleased to wonder at the education which I had given myself, as he
called it. I sat many long mornings in Miss Stuart's drawing-room, and
she had the power of making me talk of many things which had always been
hidden even from myself. It was hardly a sympathy with me which seemed
to unlock my inner thoughts; it was as though she had already looked
through them, and that I must needs bring them out for her use. That
same glance which I have already spoken of, which seemed to pass over
and through me, invited me to say in words what I felt she was beginning
to read with her eyes. We went together, the day before I was to leave
town, to the Gallery of Paintings.
As we watched a fine landscape by Kensett, a stream of sunshine rested a
moment on the canvas, giving motion and color, as it were, to the
pictured sunlight.
Miss Stuart turned to me.
"Why will you not imprison sunlight in that way, Mr. Desmond? That would
be artistic."
"You forget," I said, "if I could put the real sunlight into such a
picture, it would no longer be mine; I should be a borrower, not a
creator of light; I should be no more of an artist than I am now."
"You will always refuse to acknowledge it," she said; "but you can never
persuade me that you have not the power to create a sunbeam. An
imprisoned sunbeam! The idea is absurd."
"It is because the idea is so absurd," I said, "that, if I felt the
power were mine to imprison sunbeams, I should hardly care to repeat the
effort. The sunshine rests upon the grass, freely we say, but in truth
under some law that prevents its penetrating farther. A sunbeam existing
in the absence of the sun is, of course, an absurdity. Yet they are
there, the sunbeams of last spring, in your oval room, as I saw them one
day in May."
"Which convinces me," said Miss Stuart, "that you are an artist. That is
not real sunshine. You have created it. You are born for an artist-life.
Do not go back to your drudgery."
"Daily work," I answered, "must become mechanical work, if we perform it
in a servile way. A lawyer is perhaps inspired, when he is engaged in a
cause on which he thinks his reputation hangs; but, day by day, when he
goes down to the work that brings him his daily bread, he is quite as
likely to call it his drudgery as I my daily toil."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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