The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 14, No. 85, November, 1864: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and PoliticsVarious
History
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 14, No. 85, November, 1864: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and Politics
Various
American periodicals
he was converted into a man, full of the determination of a selfish
purpose. I could not answer him composedly, and entreated him to leave
me. He misinterpreted my dismay, and went at once to my father. When I
came in, that evening, having somewhat regained my composure, though
with a sick feeling of dread and bewilderment in my heart, my father met
me with unusual kindness, kissed me as he had not done for years, and
led me towards Frank, who was standing near my mother. She had been
crying, I saw, and her face wore a strange expression of anxiety and
nervous joy as she looked at me. I turned away from Frank, and threw
myself down on the floor by my mother.
"'"Thank Heaven, Lina!" I heard her whisper; "God bless you, my child!
you have saved me years of bitterness."
"'I exclaimed,--"I cannot marry Frank,--I don't love him, mother,--don't
try to make me!"
"'Ah, Madame, it was dreadful! I don't know how I bore it. My father
stormed, and my mother cried, and poured forth such entreaties and
persuasions,--telling me I mistook my heart, and that I should learn to
love Frank, and about duty as a daughter to my father, and, oh, I don't
know what beside!--and Frank stood by, silent and pale, and with a look
I had never seen before of unrelenting, passionate, pitiless love.
"'Oh,' sighed Lina, 'it was hard, with no one to take my part! but the
hardest was yet to come.
"'Days and weeks passed on, and I was miserable beyond what I can tell
you. Nothing more was said on the subject, however, except by Frank, who
tortured me by alternate entreaties and reproaches, and sometimes by
occasional fits of thoughtfulness and kindness, in which he would leave
me to myself, only appealing to me by unobtrusive acts of courtesy and
devotion, which gave me more pain than either reproach or entreaty. But
if it had not been for these days of comparative calm and quiet, I
should hardly have been able to bear what followed. As it was, I had
time to collect my strength and plan my line of conduct.
"'One night my father called me into his room. I saw by his manner that
he was much excited. My mother was there also; she looked alarmed, and
glanced from my father to me anxiously and inquiringly. You know mamma
has very little strength of character, Madame. I could not hope for help
from her; so I called up all my resolution, knowing that some trial was
before me. I can hardly tell you what I heard then, Madame, it was such
disgrace,' said Lina, raising her eyes slowly and fixing them a moment
on mine, while a sudden, curious, embarrassed expression passed over her
face, such as is accompanied in other persons by a painful flush, but
which left her face pale and cold, causing no change in color.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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