Produced by Charles Keller and David Widger THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A QUACK AND THE CASE OF GEORGE DEDLOW By S. Weir Mitchell, M.D., LL.D. Harvard And Edinburgh CONTENTS THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A QUACK THE CASE OF GEORGE DEDLOW INTRODUCTION Both of the tales in this little volume appeared originally in the “Atlantic Monthly” as anonymous contributions. I owe to the present owners of that journal permission to use them. “The Autobiography of a Quack” has been recast with large additions. “The Case of George Dedlow” was not written with any intention that it should appear in print. I lent the manuscript to the Rev. Dr. Furness and forgot it. This gentleman sent it to the Rev. Edward Everett Hale. He, presuming, I fancy, that every one desired to appear in the “Atlantic,” offered it to that journal. To my surprise, soon afterwards I received a proof and a check. The story was inserted as a leading article without my name. It was at once accepted by many as the description of a real case. Money was collected in several places to assist the unfortunate man, and benevolent persons went to the “Stump Hospital,” in Philadelphia, to see the sufferer and to offer him aid. The spiritual incident at the end of the story was received with joy by the spiritualists as a valuable proof of the truth of their beliefs. S. WEIR MITCHELL THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A QUACK At this present moment of time I am what the doctors call an interesting case, and am to be found in bed No. 10, Ward 11, Massachusetts General Hospital. I am told that I have what is called Addison’s disease, and that it is this pleasing malady which causes me to be covered with large blotches of a dark mulatto tint. However, it is a rather grim subject to joke about, because, if I believed the doctor who comes around every day, and thumps me, and listens to my chest with as much pleasure as if I were music all through--I say, if I really believed him, I should suppose I was going to die. The fact is, I don’t believe him at all. Some of these days I shall take a turn and get about again; but meanwhile it is rather dull for a stirring, active person like me to have to lie still and watch myself getting big brown and yellow spots all over me, like a map that has taken to growing. The man on my right has consumption--smells of cod-liver oil, and coughs all night. The man on my left is a down-easter with a liver which has struck work; looks like a human pumpkin; and how he contrives to whittle jackstraws all day, and eat as he does, I can’t understand. I have tried reading and tried whittling, but they don’t either of them satisfy me, so that yesterday I concluded to ask the doctor if he couldn’t suggest some other amusement. I waited until he had gone through the ward, and then seized my chance, and asked him to stop a moment. “Well, my man,” said he, “what do you want!” I thought him rather disrespectful, but I replied, “Something to do, doctor.”