The Autobiography of a Quack, and The Case of George Dedlow — John Shaqi
The Autobiography of a Quack, and The Case of George DedlowMitchell, S. Weir (Silas Weir)
General
The Autobiography of a Quack, and The Case of George Dedlow
Mitchell, S. Weir (Silas Weir)
Didactic fiction; Political fiction; Social problems -- Fiction
In a few moments I found the famous Bible hid away under Aunt Rachel’s
mattress. The Bible bank was fat with notes, but I intended to be
moderate enough to escape suspicion. Here were quite two thousand
dollars. I resolved to take, just now, only one hundred, so as to keep a
good balance. Then, alas! I lit on a long envelop, my aunt’s will. Every
cent was left to Christ Church; not a dime to poor Pen or to me. I was
in a rage. I tore up the will and replaced the envelop. To treat
poor Pen that way--Pen of all people! There was a heap more will than
testament, for all it was in the Bible. After that I thought it was
right to punish the old witch, and so I took every note I could find.
When I was through with this business, I put back the Bible under
the mattress, and observing that I had been quite too long, I went
downstairs with a keen desire to leave the town as early as possible. I
was tempted, however, to look further, and was rewarded by finding in
an old clock case a small reticule stuffed with bank-notes. This I
appropriated, and made haste to go out. I was too late. As I went into
the little entry to get my hat and coat, Aunt Rachel entered, followed
by Peninnah.
At sight of me my aunt cried out that I was a monster and fit for the
penitentiary. As she could not hear at all, she had the talk to herself,
and went by me and up-stairs, rumbling abuse like distant thunder
overhead.
Meanwhile I was taken up with Pen. The pretty fool was seated on a
chair, all dressed up in her Sunday finery, and rocking backward and
forward, crying, “Oh, oh, ah!” like a lamb saying, “Baa, baa, baa!” She
never had much sense. I had to shake her to get a reasonable word.
She mopped her eyes, and I heard her gasp out that my aunt had at last
decided that I was the person who had thinned her hoards. This was bad,
but involved less inconvenience than it might have done an hour earlier.
Amid tears Pen told me that a detective had been at the house inquiring
for me. When this happened it seems that the poor little goose had tried
to fool deaf Aunt Rachel with some made-up story as to the man having
come about taxes. I suppose the girl was not any too sharp, and the old
woman, I guess, read enough from merely seeing the man’s lips. You never
could keep anything from her, and she was both curious and suspicious.
She assured the officer that I was a thief, and hoped I might be caught.
I could not learn whether the man told Pen any particulars, but as I was
slowly getting at the facts we heard a loud scream and a heavy fall.
Pen said, “Oh, oh!” and we hurried upstairs. There was the old woman
on the floor, her face twitching to right, and her breathing a sort of
hoarse croak. The big Bible lay open on the floor, and I knew what had
happened. It was a fit of apoplexy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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