Transcribed from the 1890 Longmans, Green, and Co. edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A SLANDER BY EDNA LYALL AUTHOR OF 'DONOVAN' 'WE TWO' 'IN THE GOLDEN DAYS' 'KNIGHT ERRANT' ETC. _Trust not to each accusing tongue_, _As most week persons do_; _But still believe that story false_ _Which ought not to be true_ SHERIDAN _NEW EDITION_ (THIRTY-NINTH TO FORTY-FIRST THOUSAND) LONDON LONGMANS, GREEN, AND CO. AND NEW YORK: 15 EAST 16th STREET 1890 _All rights reserved_ DEDICATED TO ALL WHO IT MAY CONCERN MY FIRST STAGE At last the tea came up, and so With that our tongues began to go. Now in that house you're sure of knowing The smallest scrap of news that's going. We find it there the wisest way To take some care of what we say. _Recreation_. JANE TAYLOR. I was born on the 2nd September, 1886, in a small, dull, country town. When I say the town was dull, I mean, of course, that the inhabitants were unenterprising, for in itself Muddleton was a picturesque place, and though it laboured under the usual disadvantage of a dearth of bachelors and a superfluity of spinsters, it might have been pleasant enough had it not been a favourite resort for my kith and kin. My father has long enjoyed a world-wide notoriety; he is not, however, as a rule named in good society, though he habitually frequents it; and as I am led to believe that my autobiography will possibly be circulated by Mr. Mudie, and will lie about on drawing-room tables, I will merely mention that a most representation of my progenitor, under his _nom de theatre_, Mephistopheles, may be seen now in London, and I should recommend all who wish to understand his character to go to the Lyceum, though, between ourselves, he strongly disapproves of the whole performance. I was introduced into the world by an old lady named Mrs. O'Reilly. She was a very pleasant old lady, the wife of a General, and one of those sociable, friendly, talkative people who do much to cheer their neighbours, particularly in a deadly-lively provincial place like Muddleton, where the standard of social intercourse is not very high. Mrs. O'Reilly had been in her day a celebrated beauty; she was now grey- haired and stout, but still there was something impressive about her, and few could resist the charm of her manner and the pleasant easy flow of her small talk. Her love of gossip amounted almost to a passion, and nothing came amiss to her; she liked to know everything about everybody, and in the main I think her interest was a kindly one, though she found that a little bit of scandal, every now and then, added a piquant flavour to the homely fare provided by the commonplace life of the Muddletonians. I will now, without further preamble, begin the history of my life. * * * * * "I assure you, my dear Lena, Mr. Zaluski is nothing less than a Nihilist!"