In one way I have been insane all my life, until recently. There is a
disease called astigmatism of the conscience, and I have been sorely
afflicted with that. I have always had the delusion, until the last
few months, that it is well to "do" others. In that way I certainly was
"pipes." And in another way, too, I was insane. After a man has served
many years in stir and has contracted all the vices, he is not normal,
even if he is not violently insane. His brain loses its equilibrium,
no matter how strong-minded he may be, and he acquires astigmatism of
the mind, as well as of the conscience. The more astigmatic he becomes,
the more frequently he returns to stir, where his disease grows worse,
until he is prison-mad.
To the best of my knowledge and belief I was not insane in any definite
way--no more so than are nine out of ten of the men who had served
as much time in prison as I. I suppose I was not sent to the criminal
insane asylum because of a perverted conscience. The stir, I believe,
is supposed to cure that. Why did they send me to the mad-house? I
don't know, any more than my reader, unless it was because I caused
the keepers and doctors too much trouble, or because for some reason or
other they wanted to do me.
But whether I had a delusion or not--and I am convinced myself that
I have always been right above the ears--there certainly are many
perfectly sane men confined in our state asylums for the criminal
insane. Indeed, if all the fake lunatics were sent back to prison, it
would save the state the expense of building so many hospitals. But I
suppose the politicians who want patronage to distribute would object.
Many men in prison fake insanity, as I have already explained. Many
of them desire to be sent to Matteawan or Dannemora insane asylums,
thinking they will not need to work there, will have better food and
can more easily escape. They imagine that there are no stool-pigeons in
the pipe-house, and that they can therefore easily make their elegant
(escape). When they get to the mad-house they find themselves sadly
mistaken. They find many sane stool-pigeons there, and their plans for
escape are piped off as well there as in stir. And in other ways, as
I shall explain, they are disappointed. The reason the "cons" don't
get on to the situation in the mad-house through friends who have been
there is that they think those who have been in the insane asylum are
really pipes. When I got out of the mad-house and told my friends about
it, they were apt to remark, laconically, "He's in a terrible state."
When they get there themselves, God help them. I will narrate what
happened to me, and some of the horrible things I saw there.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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