After my pedigree was taken I was given the regulation clothes, which,
in the mad-house, consist of a blue coat, a pair of grey trousers, a
calico shirt, socks and a pair of slippers. I was then taken to the
worst violent ward in the institution, where I had a good chance to
observe the real and the fake lunatics. No man or woman, not even an
habitual criminal, can conceive, unless he has been there himself,
what our state asylums are. My very first experience was a jar. A big
lunatic, six feet high and a giant in physique, came up to me in the
ward, and said: "I'll kick your head off, you ijit (idiot). What the
---- did you come here for? Why didn't you stop off at Buffalo?" I
thought that if all the loons were the size of this one I wasn't going
to have much show in that violent ward; for I weighed only one hundred
and fifteen pounds at the time. But the big lunatic changed his note,
smiled and said: "Say, Charley, have you got any marbles?" I said,
"No," and then, quick as a flash, he exclaimed: "Be Japes, you don't
look as if you had enough brains to play them."
I had been in this ward, which was under the Head Attendant, nick-named
"King" Kelly, for two days, when I was taken away to a dark room in
which a demented, scrofulous negro had been kept. For me not even
a change of bed-clothing was made. In rooms on each side of me were
epileptics and I could hear, especially when I was in the ward, raving
maniacs shouting all about me. I was taken back to the first ward,
where I stayed for some time. I began to think that prison was heaven
in comparison with the pipe house. The food was poor, we were not
supposed to do any work, and we were allowed only an hour in the yard.
We stayed in our ward from half past five in the morning until six
o'clock at night, when we went to bed. It was then I suffered most,
for there was no light and I could not read. In stir I could lie on
my cot and read, and soothe my nerves. But in the mad-house I was not
allowed to read, and lay awake continually at night listening to the
idiots bleating and the maniacs raving about me. The din was horrible,
and I am convinced that in the course of time even a sane man kept in
an insane asylum will be mad; those who are a little delusional will go
violently insane. My three years in an insane asylum convinced me that,
beyond doubt, a man contracts a mental ailment just as he contracts
a physical disease on the outside. I believe in mental as well as
physical contagion, for I have seen man after man, a short time after
arriving at the hospital, become a raving maniac.
For weeks and months I had a terrible fight with myself to keep my
sanity. As I had no books to take up my thoughts I got into the habit
of solving an arithmetical problem every day. If it had not been for
my persistence in this mental occupation I have no doubt I should have
gone violently insane.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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