The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben ShapcottWhite, William Hale
General
The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben Shapcott
White, William Hale
Religious fiction
My work was so hard, and the hours were so long, that I had little or no
time for reading, nor for thinking either, except so far as Wollaston and
Theresa made me think. Wollaston himself took rather to science,
although he was not scientific, and made a good deal of what he called
psychology. He was not very profound, but he had picked up a few
phrases, or if this word is too harsh, a few ideas about metaphysical
matters from authors who contemned metaphysics, and with these he was
perfectly satisfied. A stranger listening to him would at first consider
him well read, but would soon be undeceived, and would find that these
ideas were acquired long ago; that he had never gone behind or below
them, and that they had never fructified in him, but were like hard
stones, which he rattled in his pocket. He was totally unlike Mardon.
Mardon, although he would have agreed with many of Wollaston’s results,
differed entirely from him in the processes by which they had been
brought about; and a mental comparison of the two often told me what I
had been told over and over again, that what we believe is not of so much
importance as the path by which we travel to it.
Theresa too, like her uncle, eschewed metaphysics, but she was a woman,
and a woman’s impulses supplied in her the lack of those deeper
questionings, and at times prompted them. She was far more original than
he was, and was impatient of the narrowness of the circle in which he
moved. Her love of music, for example, was a thing incomprehensible to
him, and I do not remember that he ever sat for a quarter of an hour
really listening to it. He would read the newspaper or do anything while
she was playing. She never resented his inattention, except when he made
a noise, and then, without any rebuke, she would break off and go away.
This mode of treatment was the outcome of one of her theories. She
disbelieved altogether in punishment, except when it was likely to do
good, either to the person punished or to others. “A good deal of
punishment,” she used to say, “is mere useless pain.”
Both Theresa and her uncle were kind and human, and I endeavoured to my
utmost to repay them by working my hardest. My few hours of leisure were
sweet, and when I spent them with Wollaston and Theresa, were
interesting. I often asked myself why I found this mode of existence
more tolerable than any other I had hitherto enjoyed. I had, it is true,
an hour or two’s unspeakable peace in the early morning, but, as I have
said, at nine my toil commenced, and, with a very brief interval for
meals, lasted till seven. After seven I was too tired to do anything by
myself, and could only keep awake if I happened to be in company.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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