The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben ShapcottWhite, William Hale
General
The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben Shapcott
White, William Hale
Religious fiction
He then passed on to say that about immortality, as usually understood,
he knew nothing; but that Mardon would live as every force in nature
lives—for ever; transmuted into a thousand different forms; the original
form utterly forgotten, but never perishing. The cloud breaks up and
comes down upon the earth in showers which cease, but the clouds and the
showers are really undying. This may be true,—but, after all, I can only
accept the fact of death in silence, as we accept the loss of youth and
all other calamities. We are able to see that the arrangements which we
should make, if we had the control of the universe, would be more absurd
than those which prevail now. We are able to see that an eternity of
life in one particular form, with one particular set of relationships,
would be misery to many and mischievous to everybody, however sweet those
relationships may be to some of us. At times we are reconciled to death
as the great regenerator, and we pine for escape from the surroundings of
which we have grown weary; but we can say no more, and the hour of
illumination has not yet come. Whether it ever will come to a more nobly
developed race we cannot tell.
* * * * *
Thus far goes the manuscript which I have in my possession. I know that
there is more of it, but all my search for it has been in vain. Possibly
some day I may be able to recover it. My friend discontinued his notes
for some years, and consequently the concluding portion of them was
entirely separate from the earlier portion, and this is the reason, I
suppose, why it is missing.
Miss Mardon soon followed her father. She caught cold at his funeral;
the seeds of consumption developed themselves with remarkable rapidity,
and in less than a month she had gone. Her father’s peculiar habits had
greatly isolated him, and Miss Mardon had scarcely any friends.
Rutherford went to see her continually, and during the last few nights
sat up with her, incurring not a little scandal and gossip, to which he
was entirely insensible.
For a time he was utterly broken-hearted; and not only broken-hearted,
but broken-spirited, and incapable of attacking the least difficulty.
All the springs of his nature were softened, so that if anything was cast
upon him, there it remained without hope, and without any effort being
made to remove it. He only began to recover when he was forced to give
up work altogether and take a long holiday. To do this he was obliged to
leave Mr. Wollaston, and the means of obtaining his much-needed rest were
afforded him, partly by what he had saved, and partly by the kindness of
one or two whom he had known.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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