The Autobiography of St. IgnatiusIgnatius, of Loyola, Saint
Religion
The Autobiography of St. Ignatius
Ignatius, of Loyola, Saint
Christian saints -- Spain -- Biography; Ignatius, of Loyola, Saint, 1491-1556
It was while he was living at the hospital at Manresa that the
following strange event took place. Very frequently on a clear
moonlight night there appeared in the courtyard before him an
indistinct shape which he could not see clearly enough to tell what
it was. Yet it appeared so symmetrical and beautiful that his soul was
filled with pleasure and joy as he gazed at it. It had something of
the form of a serpent with glittering eyes, and yet they were not
eyes. He felt an indescribable joy steal over him at the sight of this
object. The oftener he saw it, the greater was the consolation he
derived from it, and when the vision left him, his soul was filled
with sorrow and sadness.
Up to this period he had remained in a constant state of tranquillity
and consolation, without any interior knowledge of the trials that
beset the spiritual life. But during the time that the vision lasted,
sometimes for days, or a little previous to that time, his soul was
violently agitated by a thought that brought him no little uneasiness.
There flashed upon his mind the idea of the difficulty that attended
the kind of life he had begun, and he felt as if he heard some one
whispering to him, "How can you keep up for seventy years of your life
these practices which you have begun?" Knowing that this thought was a
temptation of the evil one, he expelled it by this answer: "Can you,
wretched one, promise me one hour of life?" In this manner he overcame
the temptation, and his soul was restored to peace. This was his first
trial besides what has already been narrated, and it came upon him
suddenly one day as he was entering the church. He was accustomed to
hear Mass daily, and to assist at Vespers and Compline--devotions from
which he derived much consolation. During Mass, he always read over
the history of the Passion, and his soul was filled with a joyful
feeling of uninterrupted calm.
Shortly after the temptation just spoken of, he began to experience
great changes in his soul. At one time he was deprived of all
consolation, so that he found no pleasure in vocal prayer, in hearing
Mass, or in any spiritual exercise. At another, on the contrary, he
suddenly felt as if all sorrow and desolation were taken from him,
experiencing the relief of one from whose shoulders a heavy cloak had
suddenly been lifted. On noticing all this, he was surprised,
wondering what could be the import of these changes which he had never
before experienced, and he said to himself, "What new kind of life is
this upon which I am entering?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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