The Autobiography of St. IgnatiusIgnatius, of Loyola, Saint
Religion
The Autobiography of St. Ignatius
Ignatius, of Loyola, Saint
Christian saints -- Spain -- Biography; Ignatius, of Loyola, Saint, 1491-1556
He left for Paris on foot and alone, and, according to his own
reckoning, arrived there toward the beginning of February, 1528. While
in prison, the Prince of Spain was born, and from this event we can
determine the date of what preceded and followed. At Paris he lived
with some Spaniards, and attended the lectures given at the College of
Montaigu. As he had been advanced too rapidly to the higher studies,
he returned to those of a lower grade, because he felt that in great
part he lacked the proper groundwork. He therefore studied in a class
with children. When he first came to Paris, he received from a
merchant twenty-five gold crowns on an order sent from Barcelona.
These he put for safekeeping in the hands of one of the Spaniards with
whom he lived. This latter very soon appropriated them for his own
use, and when called upon, could not restore them. The result was that
when Lent was over Ignatius found himself unprovided for, partly on
account of the loss mentioned, and partly on account of other
expenses. In consequence, he was forced to seek his livelihood by
begging, and to leave the house where he lived.
Afterward he was received into the Hospital of St. James, near the
Church of the Holy Innocents. This residence proved no slight
hindrance to his studies. The hospital was at a great distance from
the college, and while he could not gain admission at night unless he
returned before the sound of the Angelus, in the morning he was not
allowed to depart before daylight. He could not, in consequence, be
present at, nor give his time to, the lectures with profit. He found
another hindrance, also, in loss of the time needed in getting alms
wherewith to purchase food.
As he had not experienced interior spiritual suffering for almost five
years, he mortified himself by austere fasts and penances. After he
had spent some time in this way, living in the hospital and begging
his food, he noticed that his progress in letters was not rapid. He
then considered what course to follow. He had observed that many who
lived as servants of the lecturers in the colleges had abundant time
for study. He resolved to seek some one whom he might serve in the
same way. He weighed the matter well, and not without consolation
thought of it as follows: "I shall imagine that my master is Christ,
and I shall call one of the students Peter, another John, and to the
rest I shall give the names of the remaining Apostles. Then, when my
master gives me a command, I shall think, that Christ commands me.
When any one else gives orders, I shall think that the order comes
from St. Peter or some other Apostle." He was very diligent in seeking
a master, and spoke of the matter to a bachelor and to a Carthusian
monk, who knew many masters, and to others, but he was never able to
find one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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