[I think these remarks were received rather coolly. A temporary boarder
from the country, consisting of a somewhat more than middle-aged female,
with a parchment forehead and a dry little “frisette” shingling it, a
sallow neck with a necklace of gold beads, a black dress too rusty for
recent grief and contours in basso-rilievo, left the table prematurely,
and was reported to have been very virulent about what I said. So I went
to my good old minister, and repeated the remarks, as nearly as I could
remember them, to him. He laughed good-naturedly, and said there was
considerable truth in them. He thought he could tell when people’s minds
were wandering, by their looks. In the earlier years of his ministry he
had sometimes noticed this, when he was preaching;—very little of late
years. Sometimes, when his colleague was preaching, he observed this
kind of inattention; but after all, it was not so very unnatural. I will
say, by the way, that it is a rule I have long followed, to tell my worst
thoughts to my minister, and my best thoughts to the young people I talk
with.]
—I want to make a literary confession now, which I believe nobody has
made before me. You know very well that I write verses sometimes,
because I have read some of them at this table. (The company
assented,—two or three of them in a resigned sort of way, as I thought,
as if they supposed I had an epic in my pocket, and was going to read
half a dozen books or so for their benefit.)—I continued. Of course I
write some lines or passages which are better than others; some which,
compared with the others, might be called relatively excellent. It is in
the nature of things that I should consider these relatively excellent
lines or passages as absolutely good. So much must be pardoned to
humanity. Now I never wrote a “good” line in my life, but the moment
after it was written it seemed a hundred years old. Very commonly I had
a sudden conviction that I had seen it somewhere. Possibly I may have
sometimes unconsciously stolen it, but I do not remember that I ever once
detected any historical truth in these sudden convictions of the
antiquity of my new thought or phrase. I have learned utterly to
distrust them, and never allow them to bully me out of a thought or line.
This is the philosophy of it. (Here the number of the company was
diminished by a small secession.) Any new formula which suddenly emerges
in our consciousness has its roots in long trains of thought; it is
virtually old when it first makes its appearance among the recognized
growths of our intellect. Any crystalline group of musical words has had
a long and still period to form in. Here is one theory.
[Picture: The schoolmistress]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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