Le membre à “Bylaws” est le bouchon de toutes les émotions mousseuses et généreuses qui se montrent dans la Société. C’est un empereur manqué,—un tyran à la troisème trituration. C’est un esprit dur, borné, exact, grand dans les petitesses, petit dans les grandeurs, selon le mot du grand Jefferson. On ne l’aime pas dans la Société, mais on le respecte et on le craint. Il n’y a qu’un mot pour ce membre audessus de “Bylaws.” Ce mot est pour lui ce que l’Om est aux Hundous. C’est sa religion; il n’y a rien audelà. Ce mot là c’est la CONSTITUTION! Lesdites Sociétés publient des feuilletons de tems en tems. On les trouve abandonnés à sa porte, nus comme des enfans nouveaunés, faute de membrane cutanée, ou même papyracée. Si on aime la botanique, on y trouve une mémoire sur les coquilles; si on fait des études zoölogiques, on square trouve un grand tas de q’ √-1, ce qui doit être infiniment plus commode que les encyclopédies. Ainsi il est clair comme la métaphysique qu’on doit devenir membre d’une Société telle que nous décrivons. _Recette pour le Dépilatoire Physiophilosophique_ Chaux vive lb. ss. Eau bouillante Oj. Dépilez avec. Polissez ensuite. I told the boy that his translation into French was creditable to him; and some of the company wishing to hear what there was in the piece that made me smile, I turned it into English for them, as well as I could, on the spot. The landlady’s daughter seemed to be much amused by the idea that a depilatory could take the place of literary and scientific accomplishments; she wanted me to print the piece, so that she might send a copy of it to her cousin in Mizzourah; she didn’t think he’d have to do anything to the outside of his head to get into any of the societies; he had to wear a wig once, when he played a part in a tabullo. No,—said I,—I shouldn’t think of printing that in English. I’ll tell you why. As soon as you get a few thousand people together in a town, there is somebody that every sharp thing you say is sure to hit. What if a thing was written in Paris or in Pekin?—that makes no difference. Everybody in those cities, or almost everybody, has his counterpart here, and in all large places.—You never studied _averages_ as I have had occasion to. I’ll tell you how I came to know so much about averages. There was one season when I was lecturing, commonly, five evenings in the week, through most of the lecturing period. I soon found, as most speakers do, that it was pleasanter to work one lecture than to keep several in hand. —Don’t you get sick to death of one lecture?—said the landlady’s daughter,—who had a new dress on that day, and was in spirits for conversation. I was going to talk about averages,—I said,—but I have no objection to telling you about lectures, to begin with.