"Yours!" they shouted to him.
But he lost the ball. And the young girl, sure of her power, let him
lose the game without a murmur.
"Already!" thought Elizabeth, as she walked along the chestnut path
which took her back to her solitude.
How soon one was forgotten! What lies, these love vows! It only needed a
smile revealing gleaming teeth, a fresh skin, a movement of the hips to
substitute a new desire for the most exalted emotion. But perhaps she
was not one of those who inspire lasting passions. Perhaps she left only
a fleeting impression, soon to vanish, as she had sometimes heard it
said of certain women with pure impassive features. This little wound to
her self-love she added to that from which she was suffering, and which
would never be healed.
A few days later, invited to dinner at Mélèzes with some other people,
she found herself placed at table next to Philippe Lagier, who had Mlle.
Rivière as his dinner partner. Would she take advantage of this? The
barrister turned toward her, and to keep her attention, made use of all
the resources of a mind trained to please. He understood perfectly the
art of conversation which lends color and picturesqueness to all
subjects, and which seems to imply a flattering sympathy. The glare of
the lights, the bright dresses, the bare shoulders, the air warm, but
invigorating, which came in through the open window, contributed to a
harmony in which life unfolds itself in an atmosphere of joy. She was
listening to Philippe, whose intelligent features were unattractive only
when in repose. Near him, she gave no further thought to the scene which
had separated them. Soothed, forgetting her trouble, happy, she was
enjoying her success. All at once, raising her head, she saw fixed upon
her the gaze of Mlle. Rivière. It was a look of distress, expressing
not hatred, but despair and admiration. It said so clearly, "You are too
beautiful. I know well that I cannot struggle against you--have
pity!"--that she was upset by it, because it made her think of herself.
Thus for a few minutes she had fully enjoyed her power over a man whose
dead or dying passion for her, self-love induced her to revive; and at
the same time, she had felt herself to be mastered by the conversation
of this man whose subtle meaning she still feared. In addition she had
unscrupulously risked breaking another heart. She was ashamed of her
vanity, and particularly of her weakness for which she reproached
herself as a traitor. Turning from Philippe, she gave him back to Mlle.
Rivière, but he had lost his high spirits. At the end of the evening,
she refused his offer to escort her home to Saint Martin. On the road at
night, as she passed the place where the year before she had rebelled so
violently, her new conduct seemed incomprehensible and the humiliation
she felt in her own estimation, aroused in her a greater indulgence
toward the faults of others, and at the same time a resolution to watch
herself more closely.
V
A GHOST
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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