Philippe, delicately warned by her, came to the Rue Haxo only at rare
intervals. It was a cruel deprivation for him. There he had really spent
intense hours, realizing the greatest of all joys,--the joy of
sacrifice. So, not having seen Elizabeth for almost a month, it was
excusable that he should stop in the Cathedral Square at the hour of
High Mass, in the hope of meeting her there; and he was better able than
anyone who saw her daily to notice how thin she was, and all the
symptoms of illness that she showed.
During the service he was wondering how he could help her. A change of
air, a trip to Provence, to one of those little places, where one need
only open his eyes to take in the joy of light and free space! Yes, but
she was obstinately refusing Albert's assistance, and her own small
resources limited her to a modest life without luxury. Perhaps that
would decide the Molay-Norrois to take her back with them. How could
they help noticing how she was fading? But how could Albert have gone
away after being struck with her new fascination, her frailness? So he
looked at her with pity. His prayers dwelt upon her. She was the
tabernacle, which, like an offering, held the pure wish for
self-sacrifice for which he was indebted to her.
Elizabeth tried--not less vainly, to follow the service. A memory and a
fear returned to her successively with her prayers. The memory carried
her back ten years to the time of her engagement on a Palm Sunday. It
was on a sunny April day. But she felt no pleasure in being less than
twenty and in love. Albert had gone to this same church with her and her
parents. The vendors were offering their green branches too.
Thoughtlessly she dwelt on the verge of an emotion, to which another,
better informed or more far-sighted, would have given herself joyfully.
Now she understood--after ten years--what an opportunity for uplifting
their hearts she had lost in accepting with indifference that happy
coincidence of the reawakening of nature, symbolized by the religious
festival and the birth of their love.
"Look," he had said, "at all those branches of box-wood on the ground,
for you--it seems as if you were walking in spring."
"Yes, it is Palm Sunday," she had answered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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