trying to hold herself aloof.
Her parents were obliged to return the hospitality they had accepted.
When she appeared in a nile green gown, which she had only worn once at
the Duchess of Béard's before the event which had upset her life, she
saw in the women's looks that they were not genuinely sincere in the
touching sympathy they expressed to her on every occasion. The
new-comers in their set made a great deal of her with that easy freedom
which results from the absence of a woman's husband. Although she was
the least décolleté of all the women, she felt a new awkwardness,
which recalled her début as a young girl, in feeling her shoulders
exposed: shoulders, whose mother-of-pearl whiteness was greatly admired.
She had the impression that this was not her place, and her personal
success only half dispelled the idea.
She felt it again, one day as she was walking with her children to Saint
Martin d'Uriage. The closed châlet where she had spent so many peaceful
summers, the church near-by, the charm of this hamlet lost in the woods,
stirred her emotions which sensed the influence of places, as of people.
She opened the chapel door, and in her prayer--very short because of her
impatient companions--she had time to ask herself if this continual
round of gayety were a normal existence for one in her position; if such
habits of going about, of amusement and of pleasure, would not later
spoil the precocious imagination of Marie Louise and Philippe, who,
while rolling about in the grass and playing with the little peasants,
were acquiring, along with good health, simplicity of heart. To her
great astonishment, on the plane-tree avenue, the little boy, without
bashfulness, asked when they would go home, but Marie Louise, blushing
and cuddling up to her mother, said:
"And papa?"
"He is away, traveling," she replied evasively.
The little girl, finding again an important association of her short
past experience, became nervous and her little bosom heaved.
"When I was a child," she said excitedly, "I lived here. Papa took me
away, far away to the mountains. He carried me on his back when I was
tired."
"And me too," cried Philippe, who was not going to be left behind.
"He laughed all the time," Marie Louise recalled again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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