"'Has she children?' I asked.
"'Yes, why?'
"'Because I believe children make marriage indissoluble.'
"Surprised, she asked me:
"'Is that a religious conviction?'
"'I have no religion. Catholicism, moreover, does not permit divorce
under any circumstances. There are other reasons.'
"I explained mine to her, influenced by the interest of society and the
primordial importance of the family. She naturally believed in the
rights of the individual.
"'We must above all be sincere. A home cannot exist without truth.'
"In Dauphiné she had already condemned those unchangeable principles to
which one cannot give expression to-day without audacity. Life has only
served to confirm her desire of revolt.
"'Our feelings may change,' I said to her. 'Facts which are the result
of them do not change. These facts have engendered responsibility,
created obligations.'
"'They do not necessitate the loss of one's liberty.'
"'But there are no free men.'
"'Then is there no longer truth?'
"I defended this miserable lie, so derided, which insures men's peace in
every society, because one is not capable of hearing the truth. One
minute she detested me--I could not bear it, and I discontinued that
tone of sarcasm which allows us to treat serious subjects too lightly.
"'We have liberty only in the inner sanction. The chief aim of marriage
is not the happiness of husband and wife.'
"She started.
"'Certainly not. It is the foundation of a family, the child. That alone
gives marriage a positive value. After the birth of the child life
ceases to be a search for happiness. That event ends that period of
sentimental restlessness of which Nature no longer takes notice. And if
it is not suppressed, at any rate, it maintains a fixed course from
which we can never stray with impunity.'
"As she listened to me without replying, I picked up a volume of Byron
which she was translating.
"'Be careful of these romanticists. Their bouquets are poisoned. They
make the world reflect their point of view. They believe we have every
right to the highest realization, and that our personality creates the
worth of the world. The more unbridled it is, the more powerful it seems
to them. They add the decadence of their emotions to that of their
minds.'
"From intellectual habit, I waxed enthusiastic in this defense of the
social order, to which I have devoted so much thought and effort. She
looked at me with her golden eyes, which can assume fleeting expression
of unutterable woe--when they become like those of wild beasts in their
cage: she said nothing, but her look disturbed me.
"'So,' she said at last, 'if love comes too late, it is not worthy of a
sacrifice?'
"I had not foreseen what one must always foresee with a woman, however
intelligent: the immediate application of our general ideas to the
present experiences.
"'Yes,' she answered in her musical voice, 'the earth bums a long time
with a slow fire. And one can always break one's heart. Is it not so?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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