The Awakening of Helena RichieDeland, Margaret Wade Campbell
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The Awakening of Helena Richie
Deland, Margaret Wade Campbell
Women -- Fiction
"Father always wants things used," Sam explained. "Do you really
dislike boating?"
"You absurd boy!" she said laughing; "of course you will use it; don't
talk nonsense!"
Sam looked into the fire. "Do you ever have the feeling," he said in an
empty voice, "that nothing is worth while? I mean, if you are
disappointed in anything? A feeling as if you didn't care, at all,
about anything? I have it often. A sort of loss of appetite in my mind.
Do you know it?"
"Do I know it?" she said, and laughed so harshly that the boy drew
back. "Yes, Sam; I know it."
Sam sighed; "I hate that skiff."
And at that she laughed again, but this time with pure gayety. "Oh, you
foolish boy!" she said. Then she glanced at the clock. "Sam, I have
some letters to write to-night--will you think I am very ungracious if
I ask you to excuse me?" Sam was instantly apologetic. "I've stayed too
long! Grandfather told me I ought never to come and see you--"
"_What!_"
"He said I bothered you."
"You don't bother me," she protested; "I mean, when you talk about your
play you don't bother me. But to-night--"
"Of course," said Sam simply, and took himself off after one or two
directions about the bird.
When the front door closed behind him she went back to her seat by the
lamp, and took up her novel; but her eyes did not see the printed page.
Suddenly she threw the book down on the table. It was impossible to
read; Sam's talk had disturbed her to the point of sharp discomfort.
What did old Mr. Wright mean by "knowing cakes and ale"? And his leer
yesterday had been an offence! Why had he looked at her like that? Did
he--? Was it possible--! She wished she had spoken to Lloyd about it.
But no; it couldn't be; it was only his queer way; he was half crazy,
she believed. And it would do no good to speak to Lloyd. The one thing
she must not do, was to let any annoyance of hers annoy him. Yet below
her discomfort at Sam's sentimentality and his grandfather's strange
manner lay a deeper discomfort--a disturbance at the very centres of
her life.... _She was afraid._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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