Bildungsromans; Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
“The only thing that remains to me in life,” he answered, “is a certain
accessibility to the thought of what I may still do to figure a little
in your eye; but that’s precisely a thought you may assist to become
clearer. You may for instance give me some pledge or sign that if I do
figure--prance and caracole and sufficiently kick up the dust--your
eye won’t suffer itself to be distracted from me. I think there’s no
adventure I’m not ready to undertake for you; yet my passion--chastened,
through all this, purified, austere--is still enough of this world not
wholly to have renounced the fancy of some small reward.”
“How small?” the girl asked.
She spoke as if feeling she must take from him in common kindness
at least as much as she would make him take, and the serious anxious
patience such a consciousness gave her tone was met by Mitchy with
a charmed reasonableness that his habit of hyperbole did nothing to
misrepresent. He glowed at her with the fullest recognition that there
was something he was there to discuss with her, but with the assurance
in every soft sound of him that no height to which she might lift the
discussion would be too great for him to reach. His every cadence
and every motion was an implication, as from one to the other, of the
exquisite. Oh he could sustain it! “Well, I mean the establishment of
something between us. I mean your arranging somehow that we shall be
drawn more together--know together something nobody else knows. I should
like so terrifically to have a RELATION that is a secret, with you.”
“Oh if that’s all you want you can be easily gratified. Rien de plus
facile, as mamma says. I’m full of secrets--I think I’m really most
secretive. I’ll share almost any one of them with you--if it’s only a
good one.”
Mitchy debated. “You mean you’ll choose it yourself? You won’t let it be
one of mine?”
Nanda wondered. “But what’s the difference?”
Her companion jumped up again and for a moment pervaded the place. “When
you say such things as that, you’re of a beauty--! MAY it,” he asked as
he stopped before her, “be one of mine--a perfectly awful one?”
She showed her clearest interest. “As I suppose the most awful secrets
are the best--yes, certainly.”
“I’m hideously tempted.” But he hung fire; then dropping into his chair
again: “It would be too bad. I’m afraid I can’t.”
“Then why won’t THIS do, just as it is?”
“‘This’?” He looked over the big bland room. “Which?”
“Why what you’re here for?”
“My dear child I’m here--most of all--to love you more than ever; and
there’s an absence of favouring mystery about THAT--!” She looked at
him as if seeing what he meant and only asking to remedy it. “There’s a
certain amount of mystery we can now MAKE--that it strikes me in fact we
MUST make. Dear Mitchy,” she continued almost with eagerness, “I don’t
think we CAN really tell.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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