To excellent MR. and MRS. DE PLOW Came SIR BARNABY BOO, He asked for their daughter, and told 'em as how He was as rich as a Jew. BARNABY BAMPTON'S wealth, Here is your jolly good health: I'd never repine if you came to be mine, BARNABY BAMPTON'S wealth! "O great SIR BARNABY BAMPTON BOO" (Said Plow to that titled swell), "My missus has given me daughters two-- AMELIA and VOLATILE NELL!" AMELIA and VOLATILE NELL, I hope you're uncommonly well: You two pretty pearls--you extremely nice girls-- AMELIA and VOLATILE NELL! [Illustration] "AMELIA is passable only, in face, But, oh! she's a worthy girl; Superior morals like hers would grace The home of a belted Earl." Morality, heavenly link! To you I'll eternally drink: I'm awfully fond of that heavenly bond, Morality, heavenly link! "Now NELLY'S the prettier, p'raps, of my gals, But, oh! she's a wayward chit; She dresses herself in her showy fal-lals, And doesn't read TUPPER a bit!" O TUPPER, philosopher true, How do you happen to do? A publisher looks with respect on your books, For they _do_ sell, philosopher true! [Illustration] The Bart. (I'll be hanged if I drink him again, Or care if he's ill or well), He sneered at the goodness of MILLY THE PLAIN, And cottoned to VOLATILE NELL! O VOLATILE NELLY DE P.! Be hanged if I'll empty to thee: I like worthy maids, not mere frivolous jades, VOLATILE NELLY DE P.! They bolted, the Bart. and his frivolous dear, And MILLY was left to pout; For years they've got on very well, as I hear, But soon he will rue it, no doubt. O excellent MILLY DE PLOW, I really can't drink to you now; My head isn't strong, and the song has been long, Excellent MILLY DE PLOW! SOLATIUM Comes the broken flower-- Comes the cheated maid-- Though the tempest lower, Rain and cloud will fade! Take, O maid, these posies: Though thy beauty rare Shame the blushing roses, They are passing fair! Wear the flowers till they fade; Happy be thy life, O maid! O'er the season vernal, Time may cast a shade; Sunshine, if eternal, Makes the roses fade: Time may do his duty; Let the thief alone-- Winter hath a beauty That is all his own. Fairest days are sun and shade: Happy be thy life, O maid! [Illustration] THE MODEST COUPLE