The Bad Boy at Home, and His Experiences in Trying to Become an Editor: 1885Victor, Metta Victoria Fuller
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The Bad Boy at Home, and His Experiences in Trying to Become an Editor: 1885
Victor, Metta Victoria Fuller
American wit and humor; Diary fiction; Newspapers -- Fiction
I thot I was thru with my trubbel with wimmin's warin apparel for one
day, so I started hum. I'd ony got to the corner of Spruce street, wen a
grate strappin perliceman cum up to me, and clappin me on the shoulder,
sed: “I've got you, sunny, this time; cum along, now, or I'll be after
makin you.” I seen discreshun was the better part of valler, so I let
him leed me. Wen we got to the stashun he preferred a charge of larceny
gainst me. Then they axt me if I had eny bodie wot'd go my bale, so
I got 'em to send for Mr. Gilley. Wen he arrove, he cum up to me, the
teers streem-in down his cheeks, and sed: “Georgie, I'm sorry to see you
in such a posishun, but you'd better pleed gilty, and axe mercy of the
cort, cos they've got a sure case agen you. If you'd ony bin sharp enuf
to hide the property, it wouldn't ben so bad.” Jest then the lady wot
the shawl was stole from, come to identerfy it. Mr. Gilley & me was
lookin on. The lady looked orful close, and sed that looked jest like
her shawl, wot was all black, ony this one didn't hav no yaller stanes
on the corner were she dropt the lemon juce on to hers. Mr. Gilley
looked at it close, and purty soon he sed: “Why, Georgie, that's our
offis towl.” Then I seen all thru it in a minnit, cos there was the towl
wot I'd been carryin home to get washed, and the per-liceman, seein the
end stickin out from under my cote, and knowin that a black shawl had
been stole, arrested me as the theef. Then they had a big laff, and Mr.
Gilley set em up for the crowd. He sed he knowd I was orful honorary,
but he never culd b'leeve that I'd steel enything.
CHAPTER XXVI.
THE DELINKENT SUBSCRIBER'S ARISTOCRAZEY IDEAS ON THE
EDITTUR'S DIGESTIV ORGANS.--A NEW WAY TO COLLECT OLD DETS.
There's a lot of fellers wot hav brown-stone manshuns up town, and
French cooks wot dish em up everything good, from frogs' lim--er--leg
to the posterier xten-shun of a eel's spinal collum, frickerseed, with
mushrum catchup sauce. B'sides that, they've got lots of munney in the
bank, and wuldn't think no more of givin sum Anglo Saxton perfesshunal
beggar a thousand-dollar keepsake than they wuld of let-tin there folks
go to Longbransh or Newport durin the all-fired heeted turm.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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