Humorous poetry; Science fiction poetry; Space ships -- Poetry
Two months out of Io City
Everything was running pretty,
The asteroids were thirty hours away,
When McNeer, to whom perfection
Was a sort of predilection,
Said, "Bill, we'll take the hypos down today."
Well, the hypatomic motors
Are the energy-plus rotors
That control a spaceship's motion in the void.
When the ship is once free-wheeling
'Neath the vast celestial ceiling,
Then's the time to clean the grit with which they're cloyed.
So Bill said, "Yup. Okey-dokey!"
And with movements slow and pokey
Dismounted Number one and got to work.
"Do a perfect job, you _globaar_![2]
Or I'll crown you with a crow-bar!"
Warned McNeer--and then he vanished with a smirk.
It was some two hours later
As, upon his "sweet pertater"
The Chief Engineer was tootling _Venus Nell_,
That the Second Mate, half witless,
Out of breath and frightened spitless,
Burst in crying, "Chief, we're on our way to hell!"
"What, already?" drawled McNeer
But the mate, pale green with fear,
Bawled, "Go get the hypos working, without fail!
And go do it on the double,
'Cause we're in a peck of trouble!
A rogue asteroid is riding on our tail!"
IV
Now, in case you don't remember,
A "rogue asteroid's" a member
Of the minor planet group that's slipped its cogs.
Wrenched by gravitational forces,
It careens about its courses
In an orbit not computable by logs.
Tons on tons of granite, metaled,
By the tug of Jove unsettled,
Weaving in, about, below its normal belt;
Is it any wonder why a
Spaceman fears this mad pariah?
Dreads the moment when its power may be felt?
With a single, sharp, explosive
Word that acted as corrosive
On the mate's embarrassed eardrums, raced McNeer
To the engine-room where, peaceful,
Happy, busy, very grease-full,
Labored Blaster Bill, with grins from ear to ear.
"Bill!" McNeer cried, voice all blurry,
"Get that hypo in a hurry--"
Then his order strangled as he stared, aghast.
"What is this?" he faltered weakly,
"What is this?" And Bill, quite meekly,
Said, "I thought I'd melt it down for a recast!"
His imagination racing
The Chief gazed upon the casing
Of the hypatomic motor Number Three,
Now a pool of molten metal
Bubbling gently in a kettle.
"Goddlemighty!" yelled McNeer. "This thing can't be!"
Bill asked, "Why the mad commotion?"
Then they glimpsed a sudden motion
And the Skipper's face was in the televise.
"Got the motors fixed, McNeer?"
And the Chief said, low and clear,
"No. Does someone know a prayer amongst you guys?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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