"You are certainly one swell, appreciative audience," commented Iff morosely. "Let's see if I can't get a laugh with this one: One of the best little things my dear little cousin does being to pass himself off as me, he got himself hired by the Treasury Department some years ago under the name of William Howard Iff. That helped him a lot in his particular line of business. But after a while he felt that it cramped his style, so he just faded noiselessly away--retaining his credentials. Then--while I was in Paris last week--he thought it would be a grand joke to send me that document with his compliments and the suggestion that it might be some help to me in my campaign for his scalp. That's how I happened to have it." "That's going some," Staff admitted admiringly. "Tell me another one. _If_ you're Iff and not Ismay, what brought you over on the Autocratic?" "Business of keeping an eye on my dearly beloved cousin," said Iff promptly. "You mean Ismay was on board, too?" "'Member that undergrown waster with the red-and-grey Vandyke and the horn-rimmed _pince nez_, who was always mooning round with a book under his arm?" "Yes...." "That was Cousin Arbuthnot disguised in his own hair." "If that was so, why didn't you denounce him when you were accused of stealing the Cadogan collar?" "Because I knew he hadn't got away with it." "How did you know?" "At least I was pretty positive about it. You'll have to be patient--and intelligent--if you want to understand and follow me back to Paris. The three of us were there: Ismay, Miss Landis, myself. Miss Landis was dickering with Cottier's for the necklace, Ismay sticking round and not losing sight of her much of the time, I was looking after Ismay. Miss Landis buys the collar and a ticket for London; Ismay buys a ticket for London; I trail. Then Miss Landis makes another purchase--a razor, in a shop near the hotel where I happen to be loafing." "A razor!" "That's the way it struck me, too.... Scene Two: Cockspur Street, London. I'm not sure what boat Miss Landis means to take; I've got a notion it's the Autocratic, but I'm stalling till I know. You drift into the office, I recognise you and recall that you're pretty thick with Miss Landis. Nothing more natural than that you and she should go home by the same steamer. Similarly--Ismay.... Oh, yes, I understand it was pure coincidence; but I took a chance and filled my hand. After we'd booked and you'd strutted off, I lingered long enough to see Miss Landis drive up in a taxi with a whaling big bandbox on top of the cab. She booked right under my nose; I made a note of the bandbox....