The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog lettersJerrold, Douglas William
General
The barber's chair; and, The hedgehog letters
Jerrold, Douglas William
English literature -- 19th century; English wit and humor
Observe this, Isaac: Mr Ashurst argues upon what are called broad,
wide, and benevolent principles. He would give liberty to the Jew
because the man was born a Jew; because he couldn’t choose his father
and mother, his creed or colour. It is his fortune to be a Jew, as it
may be the fortune of the Bishop of London to be a Christian. Therefore
the common councilman would give him equal freedom with the rest. Now,
the royal Duke would emancipate the Jew because “he contributes a large
portion” to the funds of Christian charities. With the Duke, the Jew
buys the favour with hard cash! Sir Moses ought to be an alderman,
because he gave the Duke “a very handsome sum” for a charitable meeting!
The Jew touches the common councilman through his reason, his sense
of justice; but the Hebrew moves the royal Duke purely through his
breeches-pocket. “We owe a great deal to the Jews,” says Cambridge;
“and _therefore_ they ought to be freed.” Now suppose, Isaac, that the
Jews had been poor; that they had never subscribed handsome sums; could
the Duke, according to his own logic, have lifted up his voice in their
behalf? I fear not.
Thus, then, it is, Isaac, Mr Ashurst and men of his school give liberty
as a right--the Duke of Cambridge and such reasoners sell it.
There’s a good deal, Isaac, to think of in what Mr Ashurst says; that
no man chose his colour or his country. Only suppose now, if Sir Robert
Peel had been born one of the--what d’ye call ’em?--the spinning
dervishes, whose whole religion is said to be in doing nothing but
going round, and round, and round! Why, one can’t help thinking that
Sir Robert would have gone round with any of ’em.
Just suppose, too, Sir James Graham born a Chinaman. Instead of dining
off Christian beef and mutton, don’t you think he’d have eaten rats
glazed with rice? and now, all the world knows, a rat’s a thing he
can’t abide to think of. Only think, Isaac, how many white-skinned
public folks, if they’d been only born in Africa, would have been
_born_ as black--yes, quite as black--as if they could now be turned
inside out. Is it any merit of Lord Brougham’s that he wasn’t born
to play with knives and balls like Ramo Samee? On the other hand, is
poor Ramo to be despised because he hasn’t the salary of a shelved
chancellor? I should think not.
There’s capital wisdom in what Mr Ashurst says--the best of wisdom.
And let us hope that even lords and bishops will by-and-by come to
understand it.
And so no more from your old friend,
JUNIPER HEDGEHOG.
LETTER XIII.--_To Mrs Hedgehog of New York._
DEAR GRANDMOTHER,--You ought to be in England just now, we’re in such
a pleasant pucker. The Church is in danger again! I have myself known
her twenty times in peril, but now she really is at the very edge of
destruction.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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