_Nutts._ You’re right. So is picking pockets. Now honesty, as the old spelling-books say, is adapted to the meanest understanding. _Nightflit._ Very rum letters, these, from the Earl of Ripon and his parson! All, I see, taken from the _Standard_. _Nutts._ What--about the Earl, the donkey, and the curate? I must say the Earl doesn’t shine quite like a new fourpenny in the business. _Slowgoe._ Nonsense! give me the paper. What does his Lordship--mind I’m not a Whig, so no admirer of his’n--what does his Lordship say to Mr Crowther, who’s made the curate of Nocton, that Lord Bentinck made all the row about? The Earl, looking upon the curate as a livery servant--only the livery’s a surplice, and not drab with mustard facings--desires him and his wife not to have no dealings with a Mr and Mrs Newton, simply because the Earl doesn’t like ’em. The Earl says: “Lord Ripon is confident that if they were aware of the course pursued by Mrs Newton towards the Dean of Windsor, Mr Granville and Mr Kempe (the two previous curates of Dunston), as well as to Lord Ripon himself, they would not receive any apparent civilities from Mrs Newton, or have any communication with her. Lord Ripon has written to Mr Howse to desire that Mr Crowther _may have the use of the pony_, and Mrs Crowther _of the donkey =OR= covered cart_, whenever he applies to him for them.” Think of that. Isn’t it condescension? What I call Christian kindness? To lend a pony to a parson, and an ass with a covered cart to the parson’s wife. What would revolutionists have? _Nutts._ Very right. The donkey is a touching bit. The loan of it shows in what respect the Earl held the clergyman. There’s something what I call magnanimous in that jackass. _Slowgoe._ Again listen to this: “If Mr Crowther has need of anything being done for him in any way, it is to _Mr Howse_ alone to whom Lord Ripon would wish him to apply. Lord Ripon is confident Mr Crowther will meet with every attention from Mr Howse.” _Nutts._ And who is Mr Howse? A near and dear relation to Earl Ripon? _Slowgoe._ No: Mr Howse is Earl Ripon’s cook; and therefore, as knowing best his Lordship’s heart through his stomach, could best talk to Mr Crowther. And now think of the ingratitude of this parson. He won’t give the cold shoulder to Mr and Mrs Newton in return for the pony and donkey, but says: “The duties of this situation dictate to me great impartiality, and that I should think no evil, but as much as in me lieth, live peaceably with all men. In the humble hope of accomplishing this course, it must be my care to avoid even the appearance of partisanship in any unhappy differences of the parishioners.” Don’t you call _that_ flying in the face of a nobleman? _Nutts._ Yes; and capital flying too.