"I tell you, Crowther," he said, "I am not doing this thing without
weighing the cost. But--I haven't much to lose, and I've all to gain.
Even if it doesn't do--what I hope, it'll steady me down, it'll make a
man of me--and not--a murderer."
His voice sank on the last word. He freed himself from Crowther's hold
and turned away.
Once more he opened the window to the roar of London's life; and so
standing, with his back to Crowther, he spoke again jerkily, with obvious
effort. "Do you remember telling me that something would turn up?
Well,--it has. I'm waiting to see what will come of it. But--if it's any
satisfaction to you to know it--I've got clear of my own particular hell
at last. I haven't got very far, mind, and it's a beastly desert road I'm
on. But I know it'll lead somewhere; so I shall stick to it now."
He paused a moment; then flung round and faced Crowther with a certain
air of triumph.
"Meantime, old chap, don't you worry yourself about either of us! My
wife will go to her friend Mrs. Lorimer till I come home again. Then
possibly, with any luck, she'll come to me."
He smiled with the words and came back to the table. "May I have a
drink?" he said.
Crowther poured one out for him in silence. Somehow he could not
speak. There was something about Piers that stirred him too deeply for
speech just then. He lifted his own glass with no more than a gesture
of goodwill.
"I say, don't be so awfully jolly about it!" laughed Piers. "I tell you
it's going to end all right. Life is like that."
His voice was light, but it held an appeal to which Crowther could not
fail to respond.
"God bless you, my son!" he said. "Life is such a mighty big thing that
even what we call failure doesn't count in the long run. You'll win
through somehow."
"And perhaps a little over, what?" laughed Piers. "Who knows?"
"Who knows?" Crowther echoed, with a smile.
But he could not shake free from the chill foreboding that had descended
upon him, and when Piers had gone he stood for a long time before his
open window, wrestling with the dark phantom, trying to reason away a
dread which he knew to be beyond all reasoning.
And all through the night that followed, those words of Piers' pursued
him, marring his rest: "It's a beastly desert road I'm on, but I know
it'll lead somewhere." And the high courage of his bearing! The royal
confidence of his smile!
Ah, God! Those boys of the Empire, going forth so gallantly to the
sacrifice!
CHAPTER VI
THE ENCOUNTER
Piers was right. When Avery left Stanbury Cliffs she went back to her
old life at Rodding Vicarage.
Local gossip regarding her estrangement from her husband had practically
exhausted itself some time before, and in any case it would have been
swamped by the fevered anxiety that possessed the whole country during
those momentous days.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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