The Bath Keepers; Or, Paris in Those Days, v.2: (Novels of Paul de Kock Volume VIII)Kock, Paul de
General
The Bath Keepers; Or, Paris in Those Days, v.2: (Novels of Paul de Kock Volume VIII)
Kock, Paul de
French fiction -- Translations into English
"In that case," said the attendant to himself, as he looked after the
esquire, "it seems that the tall, thin man won't want it any more; if
he's going to get out of his bath, I can begin to draw the water out of
his tub."
He went to a room situated directly beneath the men's bathrooms, pressed
a spring corresponding to the tub that he proposed to empty, and opened
a cock through which the water ran out of doors.
As for Master Hugonnet, urged by his friends, and no longer in full
possession of his reason, he had left his house, to make himself
completely drunk at his favorite wine shop.
Passedix sat in his tub, as motionless as a statue, because he knew that
the more one moves about, the more quickly the water grows cool. That in
his tub had fallen nearly to zero. The poor chevalier turned purple and
counted the minutes, saying to himself:
"Capédébious! I trust that my esquire will move more rapidly than my
page; I should have left him unrestricted in the matter of colors; he
will try to find a pretty shade, and that will delay him.--Well, what
does this mean? I have no water on my shoulders! But I had some a moment
ago. One would say that my bath was running away! Why, yes--it is not a
dream--my water is falling--my breast is dry!--Ah! ten thousand muskets!
this is the climax of our adventures!--Who is the gallows-bird, the
villain, the blockhead, that amuses himself emptying my bath tub? It
must be that dolt of an attendant! By Roland! the rascal shall pay me
for this! In a moment I shall be left high and dry, and all naked! This
is horrible! May the devil fly away with my esquire and my page!--Let us
ring! let us ring!--Ah! I shall not forget this bath!"
Passedix seized the bellrope and pulled it so hard that it broke in his
hand; but luckily the attendant heard the bell, and, as he knew that the
esquire had gone, he concluded to go up, saying to himself:
"It must be me that this gentleman wants now, as he has sent his
servants away; he wants to pay for his bath, I suppose, and give me a
_pourboire_."
But he was stupefied, on opening the door of the cabinet, to see the
chevalier still naked in the bath tub, where there was no longer a drop
of water, glaring savagely at him and threatening him with his fist.
"What! are you taking a dry bath, monsieur?" said the surprised
attendant.
"A dry bath, knave! a dry bath, blockhead! Why am I left high and dry in
my bath tub? Because you have drawn the water off, I presume!"
"Well! monsieur's esquire called to me when he went out: 'My master's
going to leave the bath!' so then I said to myself: 'I can empty the
tub.'"
"Ah! you clown, if I die of inflammation of the lungs, you shall pay me
for this! I am frozen!"
"But, monsieur, after all, why do you insist on staying in the tub
instead of dressing yourself?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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