Christmas stories, English; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The offices of Messrs. Snitchey and Craggs stood convenient, with an open
door down two smooth steps, in the market-place; so that any angry farmer
inclining towards hot water, might tumble into it at once. Their special
council-chamber and hall of conference was an old back-room up-stairs,
with a low dark ceiling, which seemed to be knitting its brows gloomily
in the consideration of tangled points of law. It was furnished with
some high-backed leathern chairs, garnished with great goggle-eyed brass
nails, of which, every here and there, two or three had fallen out—or had
been picked out, perhaps, by the wandering thumbs and forefingers of
bewildered clients. There was a framed print of a great judge in it,
every curl in whose dreadful wig had made a man’s hair stand on end.
Bales of papers filled the dusty closets, shelves, and tables; and round
the wainscot there were tiers of boxes, padlocked and fireproof, with
people’s names painted outside, which anxious visitors felt themselves,
by a cruel enchantment, obliged to spell backwards and forwards, and to
make anagrams of, while they sat, seeming to listen to Snitchey and
Craggs, without comprehending one word of what they said.
Snitchey and Craggs had each, in private life as in professional
existence, a partner of his own. Snitchey and Craggs were the best
friends in the world, and had a real confidence in one another; but Mrs.
Snitchey, by a dispensation not uncommon in the affairs of life, was on
principle suspicious of Mr. Craggs; and Mrs. Craggs was on principle
suspicious of Mr. Snitchey. ‘Your Snitcheys indeed,’ the latter lady
would observe, sometimes, to Mr. Craggs; using that imaginative plural as
if in disparagement of an objectionable pair of pantaloons, or other
articles not possessed of a singular number; ‘I don’t see what you want
with your Snitcheys, for my part. You trust a great deal too much to
your Snitcheys, _I_ think, and I hope you may never find my words come
true.’ While Mrs. Snitchey would observe to Mr. Snitchey, of Craggs,
‘that if ever he was led away by man he was led away by that man, and
that if ever she read a double purpose in a mortal eye, she read that
purpose in Craggs’s eye.’ Notwithstanding this, however, they were all
very good friends in general: and Mrs. Snitchey and Mrs. Craggs
maintained a close bond of alliance against ‘the office,’ which they both
considered the Blue chamber, and common enemy, full of dangerous (because
unknown) machinations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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