The Battle of the Books, and other Short PiecesSwift, Jonathan
General
The Battle of the Books, and other Short Pieces
Swift, Jonathan
Ancients and moderns, Quarrel of; English essays; Satire, English
The greatest inventions were produced in the times of ignorance, as the
use of the compass, gunpowder, and printing, and by the dullest nation,
as the Germans.
One argument to prove that the common relations of ghosts and spectres
are generally false, may be drawn from the opinion held that spirits are
never seen by more than one person at a time; that is to say, it seldom
happens to above one person in a company to be possessed with any high
degree of spleen or melancholy.
I am apt to think that, in the day of Judgment, there will be small
allowance given to the wise for their want of morals, nor to the ignorant
for their want of faith, because both are without excuse. This renders
the advantages equal of ignorance and knowledge. But, some scruples in
the wise, and some vices in the ignorant, will perhaps be forgiven upon
the strength of temptation to each.
The value of several circumstances in story lessens very much by distance
of time, though some minute circumstances are very valuable; and it
requires great judgment in a writer to distinguish.
It is grown a word of course for writers to say, "This critical age," as
divines say, "This sinful age."
It is pleasant to observe how free the present age is in laying taxes on
the next. _Future ages shall talk of this_; _this shall be famous to all
posterity_. Whereas their time and thoughts will be taken up about
present things, as ours are now.
The chameleon, who is said to feed upon nothing but air, hath, of all
animals, the nimblest tongue.
When a man is made a spiritual peer he loses his surname; when a
temporal, his Christian name.
It is in disputes as in armies, where the weaker side sets up false
lights, and makes a great noise, to make the enemy believe them more
numerous and strong than they really are.
Some men, under the notions of weeding out prejudices, eradicate virtue,
honesty, and religion.
In all well-instituted commonwealths, care has been taken to limit men's
possessions; which is done for many reasons, and among the rest, for one
which perhaps is not often considered: that when bounds are set to men's
desires, after they have acquired as much as the laws will permit them,
their private interest is at an end, and they have nothing to do but to
take care of the public.
There are but three ways for a man to revenge himself of the censure of
the world: to despise it, to return the like, or to endeavour to live so
as to avoid it. The first of these is usually pretended, the last is
almost impossible; the universal practice is for the second.
I never heard a finer piece of satire against lawyers than that of
astrologers, when they pretend by rules of art to tell when a suit will
end, and whether to the advantage of the plaintiff or defendant; thus
making the matter depend entirely upon the influence of the stars,
without the least regard to the merits of the cause.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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