Conduct of life -- Fiction; Egoism -- Fiction; Fate and fatalism -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
"Perhaps. Yet if you haven't," she added, "I should suppose you'd
remember. Not indeed that _I_ in the least connect with my impression
the invidious name you use. If I had only thought you foolish," she
explained, "the thing I speak of wouldn't so have remained with me. It
was about yourself." She waited as if it might come to him; but as, only
meeting her eyes in wonder, he gave no sign, she burnt her ships. "Has
it ever happened?"
Then it was that, while he continued to stare, a light broke for him and
the blood slowly came to his face, which began to burn with recognition.
"Do you mean I told you--?" But he faltered, lest what came to him
shouldn't be right, lest he should only give himself away.
"It was something about yourself that it was natural one shouldn't
forget--that is if one remembered you at all. That's why I ask you," she
smiled, "if the thing you then spoke of has ever come to pass?"
Oh then he saw, but he was lost in wonder and found himself embarrassed.
This, he also saw, made her sorry for him, as if her allusion had been a
mistake. It took him but a moment, however, to feel it hadn't been, much
as it had been a surprise. After the first little shock of it her
knowledge on the contrary began, even if rather strangely, to taste sweet
to him. She was the only other person in the world then who would have
it, and she had had it all these years, while the fact of his having so
breathed his secret had unaccountably faded from him. No wonder they
couldn't have met as if nothing had happened. "I judge," he finally
said, "that I know what you mean. Only I had strangely enough lost any
sense of having taken you so far into my confidence."
"Is it because you've taken so many others as well?"
"I've taken nobody. Not a creature since then."
"So that I'm the only person who knows?"
"The only person in the world."
"Well," she quickly replied, "I myself have never spoken. I've never,
never repeated of you what you told me." She looked at him so that he
perfectly believed her. Their eyes met over it in such a way that he was
without a doubt. "And I never will."
She spoke with an earnestness that, as if almost excessive, put him at
ease about her possible derision. Somehow the whole question was a new
luxury to him--that is from the moment she was in possession. If she
didn't take the sarcastic view she clearly took the sympathetic, and that
was what he had had, in all the long time, from no one whomsoever. What
he felt was that he couldn't at present have begun to tell her, and yet
could profit perhaps exquisitely by the accident of having done so of
old. "Please don't then. We're just right as it is."
"Oh I am," she laughed, "if you are!" To which she added: "Then you do
still feel in the same way?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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