He had reached the end, now. The end of his search for Jill Leland, the
end of everything. The first sweet deadly thrill of the ray touched his
flesh. He felt the waking hunger in him, the deep lust, the stirring
of the beast that lay so close under his own skin. He thought of the
lake, and wondered how it would be to lie in its wetness, breathing
through the gill slits that had once opened in his own flesh when he
was an embryo in his mother's womb.
_Because that is where I shall be, he thought. In the lake. Jill and I.
And beyond the lake, what? The amoeba, and then...?_
He saw the royal box, whence the Kings of Valkis had watched the
gladiators and the flowing blood. Fand sat there now. She leaned her
slender elbows on the stone and watched, and it seemed to Winters that
even at this distance he could see the smile and the scorn in her
golden eyes. Kor Hal sat beside her, and the old woman, a muffled shape
of black.
The fires of Shanga burned and brightened. There was a silence on
the clearing now. The sounds that came, the moanings and the little
whimpers, did not touch the silence. They only made it deeper. The warm
glints danced on the upturned faces, glowed in the staring eyes. Each
scaled or shaggy body bore a nimbus of beauty. He saw Jill standing
there, reaching up toward the twin suns, a slim shaft of silver flame.
The madness already in his blood. Muscle and sinew taut with
it, arching, curving. Brain clouding with a bright soft veil,
forgetfulness, release. Jill and Burk, dawn-man, dawn-woman, happy
while they lived, done with everything but their own love, their own
satisfaction. Why not? They were both in it now, both marked with the
same stamp.
Then he heard the laughter and the jeering of the Martians who were
gathered to watch the shame of his world. He tore his gaze away from
the wicked light and looked again into the face of Fand of Valkis, and
then at Kor Hal and the thousand other faces, and a bleak and terrible
expression came into his eyes.
The ranks of the crowd had broken. The beast-shapes lay upon the turf,
writhing in the ecstasy of Shanga. Jill was on her hands and knees.
Winters felt the strength going out of him. The lovely pain, the
beautiful, wild, exultant pain....
He grasped Jill and began to drag her, back toward the trees, out of
the circle of light.
She did not want to go. She screamed and tore his face with her nails
and kicked him, and he struck her. After that she lay limp in his arms.
He kept on, stumbling over the twitching bodies, falling, crawling at
last on his hands and knees. Only one thing kept him going on. Only one
thing made him undergo the tortures of the damned, fighting Shanga.
That thing was the scornful, smiling face of Fand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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