She looked wan and forlorn and I was sorry for her. She said, "I've
only been on one hunting trip in my life."
"Is that so?"
"In India. A boy carried my gun for me. When the tiger came the boy
handed me the gun and told me where to point. I fired but I didn't hit
the tiger. Somebody else shot it."
"That was too bad."
"No, it was all right. He was such a big beautiful animal. So sleek
and powerful."
I saw her body tremble as she closed her eyes. I said, "You better get
some rest."
She passed a hand over her eyes and then gave me an odd wistful smile.
"Animals are smarter, I think. We _do_ make awful messes out of our
lives, don't we?"
"I'm afraid we do."
"But is it our fault? God makes us this way. We can't help that."
"No, I guess we can't."
"Why did God make us like we are?"
"I don't know, Jane. Let's hope _He_ does."
"Isn't that sacrilege or something? Doubting Him?"
"I guess it is."
She reached out suddenly and touched my face. "You're a nice guy. I
don't blame you for slapping me."
"I'm sorry. You're pretty nice yourself."
The smile faded. "I'm not," she said miserably, and left the cabin.
Poor kid. I forgot her and thought of Melody.
Something's gone wrong with everything. Not a very scientific
statement for a skipper to make but that's how it is. The stars have
disappeared. The instruments jumped around as though they had minds of
their own. The dial needles spin around like crazy.
And something else--something even worse. Space has _changed_. I mean
there's something out there in space. First I just felt it. A raw
uneasiness. Then I trained a light through the port and I could see
it. Stuff that looks like dust but isn't. It's hazy and yet it
sparkles and you have a sense of being on a ship that's pushing its
way through a fog so thick the friction holds you back. And there's
something more about this sparkling fog. You look out at it and it
seems to be looking back at you. Or maybe I'm losing my mind. Anyhow,
that's the way it seems. As though it's waiting for you to speak to
it--say hello or something.
I guess I'm going crazy.
The sparkling fog is affecting the others, too. They've all quieted
down and they slip along the bulkheads as though they were being
followed. Only Murdo blusters back. He says, what the hell? We
expected something different, didn't we? Well, this is sure different
enough, isn't it?
I'd turn back but I don't know how. I have nothing to go by. The
instruments make no sense.
I _am_ going crazy. I looked out the port just now and saw a water
buffalo. It was standing right out there in space with its head down
looking at the ship! I had a light turned on it and suddenly it
charged and hit the port headon. It bounced off and went staggering
away and disappeared.
But it left a big white scratch on the quartz outside. At least I
think it did. Wait. I'll look again. Yes. A big white scratch. It's
still there. So how can I be mad? Maybe it's a new kind of madness....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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