English fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Cousin Celia was often at the house to join him and his mother at their
quiet tea, and one day the idea entered his head that Mrs. Middleton had
a certain pet scheme. But modesty prevented it from taking root in him,
and he preferred to believe that the notion of a marriage between him
and Celia had occurred only to himself, and would greatly surprise
everybody else if he broached it. Celia was an orphan, and he had heard
her pitied all his life. She was considered to possess an extraordinary
share of good looks and an uncommon degree of affability. Good judges
assured one another she would make an excellent wife, and Mrs. Middleton
had taken good care that the said judges should discuss the girl in the
presence of her boy, who could scarcely contend against so subtle an
undermining. Despite his vague knowledge of the wiles of match-making,
he began to persuade himself that he really liked Celia, and he played
more and more with the idea of marrying her. The leading-strings were
handled so lightly and skilfully, he would have been much astonished to
hear that his inclinations were not absolutely uninfluenced. In Celia
was all that straightforwardness by which he set such store; from her
was absent all that caprice and flirtatiousness he was so afraid of. It
was easy to know her wishes, easy to please her; and she had never made
him the victim of moods.
And the more he thought of marrying her, the more he began to decry
romantic love to himself. Whether it really existed or not he would not
pretend to say, though, in the light of his own experience, he could
just imagine its existence. Those old boyish ideas of his were all a
mistake. And thereupon he fell back eagerly on the theory of sensible
companionship as the only sound basis for marriage--which theory had now
abruptly to be rejected.
Already Paul, promenading his garden whilst beautiful coloured plates of
Egyptian decoration lay neglected on his table, was bothering himself as
to whether he could leave Celia out of the account with a clear
conscience. The question he kept asking himself was whether such
attention as he had paid her could reasonably be interpreted as bearing
any real significance. He was certain he had never actively made love to
her, as he had always hesitated to begin, but he had seen a great deal
of her of late and their intimacy had made great strides. Moreover, she
had allowed him his five dances the evening before without a word of
demur. He knew, too, he had often felt himself flushing on hearing her
praised, feeling a sort of proprietary pride in the subject of
discussion; and he wondered now if his demeanour on such occasions had
been observed.
All these considerations caused him considerable uneasiness in view of
the fact that he was perfectly sure now he did not want to marry her.
Miss Brooke had come into his horizon, and lo! the whole world was
changed. Oh, to be free to woo and win such a girl!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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