_Arch_. To hinder two men from doing what they have no mind for.--But if you should chance to talk now of my business? Scrub. Talk! ay, sir, had I not learned the knack of holding my tongue, I had never lived so long in a great family. _Arch_. Ay, ay, to be sure there are secrets in all families. _Scrub_. Secrets! ay;--but I 'll say no more. Come, sit down, we 'll make an end of our tankard: here-- [_Gives Archer the tankard_. _Arch_. With all my heart; who knows but you and I may come to be better acquainted, eh? Here's your ladies' healths; you have three, I think, and to be sure there must be secrets among 'em. [_Drinks_. _Scrub_. Secrets! ay, friend.--I wish I had a friend! _Arch_. Am not I your friend? come, you and I will sworn brothers. _Scrub_. Shall we? _Arch_.. From this minute. Give me a kiss:--and no brother Scrub-- _Scrub_. And now, brother Martin, I will tell you a secret that will make your hair stand on end. You must know that I am consumedly in love. _Arch_. That's a terrible secret, that's the truth on't _Scrub_. That jade, Gipsy, that was with us just now in the cellar, is the arrantest whore that ever wore a petticoat; and I 'm dying for love of her. _Arch_. Ha! ha! ha!--Are you in love with her person her virtue, brother Scrub? _Scrub_. I should like virtue best, because it is more durable than beauty: for virtue holds good with some women long, and many a day after they have lost it. _Arch_. In the country, I grant ye, where no woman's virtue is lost, till a bastard be found. _Scrub_. Ay, could I bring her to a bastard, I should have her all to myself; but I dare not put it upon, the lay, for fear of being sent for a soldier. Pray brother, how do you gentlemen in London like this same Pressing Act? _Arch_. Very ill, brother Scrub; 'tis the worst that ever was made for us. Formerly I remember the good days, when we could dun our masters for our wage and if they refused to pay us, we could have a warrant to carry 'em before a Justice: but now if we talk of eating, they have a warrant for us, and carry us before three Justices. _Scrub_. And to be sure we go, if we talk of eating; for the Justices won't give their own servants a bad example. Now this is my misfortune--I dare not speak in the house, while that jade Gipsy dings about like a fury.---Once I had the better end of the staff. _Arch_. And how comes the change now? _Scrub_. Why, the mother of all this mischief is a priest. _Arch_. A priest! _Scrub_. Ay, a damned son of a whore of Babylon, that came over hither to say grace to the French officers, and eat up our provisions. There's not a day goes over his head without a dinner or supper in this house. _Arch_. How came he so familiar in the family? {81} _Scrub_. Because he speaks English as if he had lived here all his life, and tells lies as if he had been a traveller from his cradle. _Arch_. And this priest, I'm afraid, has converted the affections of your Gipsy?