_Dor._ Bow! why I have known several footmen come down from London, set up here for dancing masters, and carry off the best fortunes in the country. _Arch._ [_Aside._] That project, for aught I know, had been better than ours----Brother Scrub, why don't you introduce me? _Scrub._ Ladies, this is the strange gentleman's servant, that you saw at church to-day: I understood he came from London, and so I invited him to the cellar, that he might show me the newest flourish in whetting my knives. _Dor._ And I hope you have made much of him. _Arch._ Oh, yes, madam, but the strength of your ladyship's liquor is a little too potent for the constitution of your humble servant. _Mrs. Sul._ What, then you don't usually drink ale? _Arch._ No, madam, my constant drink is tea, or a little wine and water; 'tis prescribed me by the physician, for a remedy against the spleen-- _Scrub._ O la! O la!--A footman have the spleen! _Mrs. Sul._ I thought that distemper had been only proper to people of quality. _Arch._ Madam, like all other fashions, it wears out, and so descends to their servants; though in a great many of us, I believe it proceeds from some melancholy particles in the blood, occasioned by the stagnation of wages. _Dor._ How affectedly the fellow talks----How long, pray, have you served your present master? _Arch._ Not long; my life has been mostly spent in the service of the ladies. _Mrs. Sul._ And pray, which service do you like best? _Arch._ Madam, the ladies pay best; the honour of serving them is sufficient wages; there is a charm in their looks, that delivers a pleasure with their commands, and gives our duty the wings of inclination. _Mrs. Sul._ That flight was above the pitch of a livery; and, sir, would not you be satisfied to serve a lady again? _Arch._ As groom of the chambers, madam, but not as a footman. _Mrs. Sul._ I suppose you served as footman before? _Arch._ For that reason I would not serve in that post again; for my memory is too weak for the load of messages that the ladies lay upon their servants in London: my Lady Howd'ye, the last mistress I served, called me up one morning, and told me, Martin, go to my Lady Allnight, with my humble service; tell her, I was to wait on her ladyship yesterday, and left word with Mrs. Rebecca, that the preliminaries of the affair she knows of, are stopped till we know the concurrence of the person that I know of; for which there are circumstances wanting which we shall accommodate at the old place; but that in the mean time there is a person about her ladyship, that, from several hints and surmises, was accessary at a certain time to the disappointments that naturally attend things, that to her knowledge are of more importance---- _Mrs. Sul._ } Ha! ha! where are you going, sir? _Dor._ } _Arch._ Why, I han't half done----The whole howd'ye was about half an hour long; so I happened to misplace two syllables, and, was turned off, and rendered incapable----