The Beaux-Stratagem: A comedy in five acts — John Shaqi
The Beaux-Stratagem: A comedy in five actsFarquhar, George
General
The Beaux-Stratagem: A comedy in five acts
Farquhar, George
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy)
_Arch._ Venus! I protest, madam, I took it for your picture: but now I
look again, 'tis not handsome enough.
_Mrs. Sul._ Oh, what a charm is flattery! if you would see my picture,
there it is, over that cabinet--How d'ye like it?
_Arch._ I must admire any thing, madam, that has the least resemblance
of you----But methinks, madam,--[_He looks at the Picture and_ MRS.
SULLEN _Three or Four Times, by Turns_.] Pray, madam, who drew it?
_Mrs. Sul._ A famous hand, sir. [_Exeunt_ AIMWELL _and_ DORINDA.
_Arch._ A famous hand, madam! Your eyes, indeed, are featured there; but
where's the sparkling moisture, shining fluid, in which they swim? The
picture, indeed, has your dimples, but where's the swarm of killing
Cupids, that should ambush there? The lips too are figured out; but
where's the carnation dew, the pouting ripeness that tempts the taste in
the original?
_Mrs. Sul._ Had it been my lot to have matched with such a man! [_Aside._
_Arch._ Your breasts too; presumptuous man! what! paint heaven! Apropos,
madam, in the very next picture is Salmoneus, that was struck dead with
lightning, for offering to imitate Jove's thunder; I hope you served the
painter so, madam.
_Mrs. Sul._ Had my eyes the power of thunder, they should employ their
lightning better.
_Arch._ There's the finest bed in that room, madam; I suppose 'tis your
ladyship's bedchamber?
_Mrs. Sul._ And what then, sir?
_Arch._ I think the quilt is the richest that ever I saw----I can't at
this distance, madam, distinguish the figures of the embroidery: will
you give me leave, madam?
_Mrs. Sul._ The devil take his impudence--Sure, if I gave him an
opportunity, he durst not offer it--I have a great mind to try.--[_Going.
--Returns._] 'Sdeath, what am I doing?--And alone too;----Sister, sister!
[_Exit._
_Arch._ I'll follow her close----
For where a Frenchman durst attempt to storm,
A Briton, sure may well the work perform. [_Going._
_Enter_ SCRUB.
_Scrub._ Martin, brother Martin!
_Arch._ O brother Scrub, I beg your pardon, I was not a-going: here's a
guinea my master ordered you.
_Scrub._ A guinea! hi, hi, hi, a guinea! eh----by this light it is a
guinea; but I suppose you expect one and twenty shillings in change.
_Arch._ Not at all; I have another for Gipsey.
_Scrub._ A guinea for her! Fire and faggot for the witch.----Sir, give
me that guinea, and I'll discover a plot.
_Arch._ A plot?
_Scrub._ Ay, sir, a plot, a horrid plot--First, it must be a plot,
because there's a woman in't: secondly, it must be a plot, because
there's a priest in't: thirdly, it must be a plot, because there's
French gold in't: and fourthly, it must be a plot, because I don't know
what to make on't.
_Arch._ Nor any body else, I'm afraid, brother Scrub.
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