The Bed-Book of Happiness: Being a colligation or assemblage of cheerful writings brought together from many quarters into this one compass for the diversion, distraction, and delight of those who lie abed,—a friend to the invalid, a companion to the sleepless, an excuse to the tiredBegbie, Harold
General
The Bed-Book of Happiness: Being a colligation or assemblage of cheerful writings brought together from many quarters into this one compass for the diversion, distraction, and delight of those who lie abed,—a friend to the invalid, a companion to the sleepless, an excuse to the tired
Begbie, Harold
Literature -- Collections
The stairs up which I make my difficult way are strung with washing as
far as the first bend. The dampness of the atmosphere has converted the
dust and grime on banisters, wall, and stairs into a muddy dew. The
little doll's-house of a place reeks with the suffocating odour of gas,
fried fish, onions, and steam. In one of the two rooms on the first
floor, the door of which stands open, I see--and myself am seen, not to
say scowled at, by a couple of pipe-smoking navvies, three or four
ragged children, and a little rabbit of a flat-chested woman whose
complexion and the colour of her garments bear a striking resemblance to
moleskin, and whose thin hair is twisted up in front and held
comfortably in its place by a single steel curling-pin which seems to
occupy the whole breadth of her forehead.
My rap on the panel of the other door is soon answered by a shrill,
cracked voice like the sputtering of a cheap phonograph, and opening the
flimsy door I find myself in a tiny topsy-turvy chamber, with all its
furniture dragged out of place, a pail of water in the centre of the
floor, a piece of scrubbing-soap on the table, and an unwrung
house-flannel soaking on the seat of a wooden chair. There is a nice,
old-fashioned, round-fronted chest-of-drawers with brass handles in the
room, but the most striking detail of its equipment is a stumpy and
amazingly abrupt bedstead against the wall, which is just big enough for
a big doll. The bedclothes of this eerie little cot are thrown back,
and in the centre of the rumpled mattress, in the hollow made by my
heroine's recumbent form, curled up in a sublime indifference to the
puffing and blowing of its mistress on the hearth, lies a shabby,
emaciated, and disgusting cat.
At first I suppose Miss Stipp--Miss Emma Jane Stipp--who is polishing
the grate, to be _kneeling_ on the hearthstone; but when a bird-like
claw is stretched out to me, and the shrill, cracked voice says, "I'm
dirty, but hearty; sit down and enjoy yourself," I observe that the
little dwarf is actually _standing_ on the hearthstone, although her big
head does not come within several inches of the mantelpiece. Indeed,
with her twisted feet crossed over one another, so that the left foot
appears to be kicking and worrying the right foot, in order to take its
place, and the right foot, which turns upward, appears to be trying to
creep away from its enemy, as though it wanted to crawl up that enemy's
leg to laugh at it from the mocking vantage of its own knee--the little
old lady walks up and down on the hearthstone, her hand blacking and
polishing the grate as she goes, just as you may see another lady
walking up and down and taking the air on her doorstep.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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