Whose teeth are absent and who food eschews, Drawing his daily nourishment from booze; Who can't obtain a single drop of gin To comfort and sustain the man within? Pleading for drinks, unheeded he'll grow wheezy, But he'll improve his breath if he'll Speak Easy. The Drunkard's fate would be a dreadful warning, Who, having "opened" Riley's place each morning Found, one cold dawn, the foot-rail gone and read-- "Soft Drinks for Sale" where Schnapps was sold instead. Picture his sorrow! See him pallid grow When told the facts: a spectacle of woe! Back to his wife he slinks: he couldn't face her! Because he missed his usual "morning bracer." The Place is sold: it's now a candy store Where Schnapps will be dispensed _with_ evermore. Good-bye, Old Demijohn; Decanters, too! His life will empty be--and so are you! Where once the Canteen flourished 'neath our flag, Now Prohibition flags the soldier's jag; And where Josephus keeps his arid log The water-pitcher has succeeded grog. Some Commonwealths already have the pluck To ban, humanely, those who _chase the duck_; And other States have punished Rum enough To have compassion on the _boot-leg_ stuff. Thus Prohibition grows: but so does wheat And corn and rye: I wonder which will beat? But what of Woman? Where's her rightful freedom? They ought to have the vote, because we need 'em To purge our land of drunkenness and crime And save our striplings from the slough and slime. Why _shouldn't_ Women vote? Perhaps they may! Should Drunkards or Illiterates say nay? Could citizens of foreign birth refuse To give our Native Daughters what they choose? Our Native Sons with chivalry invoke Fair play for women,--freedom from the yoke; And shouldn't other Freemen rise in flocks To help our Women win the Ballot Box? The trouble lies, not _here_, but with the Bosses Who trade in graft and deal in _double crosses_. The sooner we eliminate this class The quicker will _full freedom_ come to pass. But watch the Anti! Make her hold her tongue, Or duck her in the pond, the geese among; Or lock her in the booth, without a mirror, Where she can't see herself and we can't hear her. Thus, neck and neck, these two great questions lead: Will men be equal to their Country's need? If one Reform upon the other waits, Speed Equal Suffrage to the White House gates, And Prohibition (Farewell, Dear old Liquor!) Will follow as the tape pursues the ticker! But if, perchance, the Dry's should get a trimmin', _Smile_, if you please,--but don't _prohibit_ Women! A REUNION