The Dogs of War are out of tune,-- No harmony doth move the critters: Unless they cease their fighting soon The wounded whelps will have no litters. Jerusalem! the Turk is spent! The bagpipes took his breath, I think. The Crescent now is badly bent, And Allah's cause is on the blink. The Bulgar too has shot his bolt, And soon will quit--the poor pariah! For now there's rumor of revolt In Ananias and Sofia. The Hun is playing with the Slav-- The Kremlin Mouse and Potsdam Cat; But Cossack, too, can smear the salve, And 'twixt them twain doth Peace fall flat. Some day the Dove of Peace will swoop With long, befigured _bill_, and put it Against the Vulture-Kultur coop And make the Prussian Junkers _foot it_. MEN HAD HORNS THEN Newspaper Item, Athens, Pa., July 29: The archaeologists who are traversing the Susquehanna River Valley, visiting sites of Indian villages and digging up aborigines and other relics, are said to have made a most astounding discovery on the Murray farm, near here, in finding the bones of sixty-eight pre-historic men. The average height of these men when their skeletons were assembled was seven feet, while many were much taller. Additional evidence of their gigantic size is found in the massive stone battle axes in their graves. The average age of these men is said to have been from thirty to forty. Another amazing point of this discovery is the allegation that "perfectly formed skulls were found from which horns grew straight out from the head." The Homestead of Satan, they say, has been found Near Athens, P. A., in a hole in the ground; And people are flocking from Athens and Sayre To view the remains of their ancestors there. When Satan established himself in this zone He found it distasteful to live all alone; So he went to Towanda in quest of a bride, And then tilled the soil till his seed multiplied. So scores of young Devils at Murray's were born That measured five cubits between hoof and horn. Each one was equipped with a tail and two wings, And _asbestos garments_ at Nick's Sulphur Springs. And that's why you find all their skeletons here In good preservation: but isn't it queer That Devils at Athens, the place of their birth, Were the sole legatees of Hell upon Earth? But Devils, like men, reach the ends of their ropes, And have disappointments and unfulfilled hopes,-- So Satan discovered, too late we are told, The climate at Murray's was too beastly cold. His imps all contracted pneumonia and died; So he buried them here in the Pit, side by side, Near Athens, P. A., by the River Chemung, Where they've been unmolested till now, and unsung.