England -- Fiction; Love stories; Scholars -- Fiction
George, when he found himself back in town, shut himself up in his
chambers and went to work upon his manuscript. He, too, recognized
the necessity of labour, in order that the sorrow within his heart
might thus become dull and deadened.
But it was deep, true sorrow--to him at some periods almost
overwhelming: he would get up from his desk during the night, and
throwing himself on the sofa, lie there writhing in his agony. While
he had known that Caroline was his own, he had borne his love more
patiently than does many a man of less intensity of feeling. He had
been much absent from her; had not abridged those periods of absence
as he might have done; had, indeed, been but an indifferent lover, if
eagerness and _empressement_ are necessary to a lover's character.
But this had arisen from two causes, and lukewarmness in his love had
not been either of them. He had been compelled to feel that he must
wait for the fruition of his love; and therefore had waited. And then
he had been utterly devoid of any feeling of doubt in her he loved.
She had decided that they should wait. And so he had waited as secure
away from her as he could have been with her.
But his idea of a woman's love, of the purity and sanctity of her
feelings, had been too high. He had left his betrothed to live
without him, frequently without seeing him for months, and yet he
had thought it utterly impossible that she should hold confidential
intercourse with another man. We have seen how things fell out with
him. The story need not be repeated. He was shocked, outraged, torn
to the heart's core; but he loved as warmly, perhaps more warmly than
ever.
What he now expected it is impossible to describe; but during that
first fortnight of seclusion in the midst of London, he did half
expect, half hope that something would turn up. He waited and waited,
still assuring himself that his resolve was inviolable, and that
nothing should make him renew his engagement: and yet he hoped for
something. There was a weight on his heart which then might have been
removed.
But no sign was made. We have seen how Adela, who felt for him, had
striven in vain. No sign was made; and at the end of the fortnight he
roused himself, shook his mane, and asked himself what he should do.
In the first place, there should be no mystery. There were those
among his friends to whom he had felt himself bound to speak of his
engagement when it was made, and to them he felt himself bound to
communicate the fact now that it was unmade. He wrote accordingly to
Arthur Wilkinson; he wrote to Harcourt; and determined to go down to
Hadley. He would have written also to his uncle, but he had never
done so, and hardly knew how to commence a correspondence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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