In compliance with the request of a friend of mine, who wrote
me from the East, I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon
Wheeler, and inquired after my friend’s friend, Leonidas W. Smiley,
as requested to do, and I hereunto append the result. I have a
lurking suspicion that _Leonidas W._ Smiley is a myth; and that my
friend never knew such a personage; and that he only conjectured
that if I asked old Wheeler about him, it would remind him of his
infamous _Jim Smiley_, and he would go to work and bore me to death
with some exasperating reminiscence of him as long and as tedious
as it should be useless to me. If that was the design, it succeeded.
I found Simon Wheeler dozing comfortably by the bar-room stove of
the dilapidated tavern in the decayed mining camp of Angel’s, and I
noticed that he was fat and bald-headed, and had an expression of
winning gentleness and simplicity upon his tranquil countenance.
He roused up, and gave me good-day. I told him a friend had
commissioned me to make some inquiries about a cherished companion
of his boyhood named _Leonidas W_. Smiley—_Rev. Leonidas W._
Smiley, a young minister of the Gospel, who he had heard was at one
time a resident of Angel’s Camp. I added that if Mr. Wheeler could
tell me anything about this Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley, I would feel
under many obligations to him.
Simon Wheeler backed me into a corner and blockaded me there
with his chair, and then sat down and reeled off the monotonous
narrative which follows this paragraph. He never smiled, he never
frowned, he never changed his voice from the gentle-flowing key
to which he tuned his initial sentence, he never betrayed the
slightest suspicion of enthusiasm; but all through the interminable
narrative there ran a vein of impressive earnestness and sincerity,
which showed me plainly that, so far from his imagining that there
was anything ridiculous or funny about his story, he regarded it
as a really important matter, and admired its two heroes as men of
transcendent genius in _finesse_. I let him go on in his own way,
and never interrupted him once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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