This thing, for very obvious reasons, I found it quite impossible
to do. In the first place, my left arm had been broken in my fall
from the ladder, and therefore, had I let go my hold with the
right hand I must have let go altogether. In the second place,
I could have no breeches until I came across the crow. I was
therefore obliged, much to my regret, to shake my head in the
negative, intending thus to give the Angel to understand that I
found it inconvenient, just at that moment, to comply with his very
reasonable demand! No sooner, however, had I ceased shaking my head
than—
“Go to der teuffel, ten!” roared the Angel of the Odd.
In pronouncing these words he drew a sharp knife across the
guide-rope by which I was suspended, and as we then happened to be
precisely over my own house (which, during my peregrinations, had
been handsomely rebuilt), it so occurred that I tumbled headlong
down the ample chimney and alit upon the dining-room hearth.
Upon coming to my senses (for the fall had very thoroughly
stunned me) I found it about four o’clock in the morning. I lay
outstretched where I had fallen from the balloon. My head groveled
in the ashes of an extinguished fire, while my feet reposed upon
the wreck of a small table, overthrown, and amid the fragments of a
miscellaneous dessert, intermingled with a newspaper, some broken
glasses and shattered bottles, and an empty jug of the Schiedam
Kirschenwässer. Thus revenged himself the Angel of the Odd.
FOOTNOTES:
[11] From _The Columbian Magazine_, October, 1844.
THE SCHOOLMASTER’S PROGRESS[12]
By Caroline M.S. Kirkland (1801–1864)
Master William Horner came to our village to school when he
was about eighteen years old: tall, lank, straight-sided, and
straight-haired, with a mouth of the most puckered and solemn kind.
His figure and movements were those of a puppet cut out of shingle
and jerked by a string; and his address corresponded very well
with his appearance. Never did that prim mouth give way before a
laugh. A faint and misty smile was the widest departure from its
propriety, and this unaccustomed disturbance made wrinkles in the
flat, skinny cheeks like those in the surface of a lake, after the
intrusion of a stone. Master Horner knew well what belonged to the
pedagogical character, and that facial solemnity stood high on
the list of indispensable qualifications. He had made up his mind
before he left his father’s house how he would look during the
term. He had not planned any smiles (knowing that he must “board
round”), and it was not for ordinary occurrences to alter his
arrangements; so that when he was betrayed into a relaxation of the
muscles, it was “in such a sort” as if he was putting his bread and
butter in jeopardy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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